Friday, May 17, 2013

Sartorial Spite: Sandals with Jeans

Mandals with jeans? Grounds for impeachment.
Those who know me know that I'm pretty laid back. I'm fairly neutral on most subjects, or at least give that impression. For the few things for which I have a strong like or dislike -- I really like it or dislike it. Mostly, the things that I do get excited for are food-related. I can give you a million reasons why I like or dislike a certain dish, cuisine, or restaurant, and I will argue it to the death & think you're crazy if you don't agree with me.

One other such subject that I feel strongly about is fashion. I'm not claiming to be some sort of trendsetter, in fact far from it. I believe in at least adhering to some simple, straightforward rules. These include things such as not wearing white socks with black dress shoes (you're not MJ) or not wearing a brown belt with black shoes & vice versa (your mom didn't teach you how to match?).

Because the weather is warming up I'm starting to see guys do something that drives me crazy, I'm going to complain about it by starting another sporadic series entitled "Sartorial Spite," where I'll write about fashion choices that immensely annoy me. I'm not going to lie -- this will probably go the way of my other hit sporadic series, "Things I Learned from Saved by the Bell." (Feel free to read Part 1 & Part 2.)

For the record, I know I'll probably anger many people with this series (you know, if I write more than one post), but I don't care. The only thing I despise more than what I write about in this series are beach pics where people put their feet in the picture. Disgusting. But I'll save that for another post.

Anyway, as you intelligently deduced from the title of this post, my disdain for today is directed toward guys who wear sandals with jeans. It doesn't look good. Sandals are casual, warm-weather footwear. They're meant to be paired with shorts, not jeans.

I see many guys at night do this. They put on their finest "going out" button-down, their finest "going out" jeans, and then they put on some of their finest flip-flops.

I want to know if it's laziness -- i.e., I just don't feel like putting on socks or lacing up shoes tonight -- or if they looked in the mirror & legitimately thought, "You know what would finish off this fly outfit? Havaianas."

There are few exceptions where jeans-with-sandals is an acceptable outfit. For example, you may simply need to run to your corner bodega to satisfy your Toblerone craving & don't want to put on your shoes. In this case, go for your sandals. Just please don't wear mandals. You know what I'm talking about. Those are unacceptable in all situations.