Monday, December 05, 2011

I Heart Kelly Kapowski

A couple of weeks ago, there was an article going around called "10 Things 90s Kids Will Have to Explain To Their Children." I opened it with great expectations, but for the most part it let me down.

It may be because I'm on the older side for 90s children, but I don't recall people liking Clarissa Explains It All or my friends playing with Tamagotchis or ever caring about Fern Gully. If I were to write about a collector's fad that sapped my parents of money, I would've written about Pogs, not Beanie Babies.

I was particularly disappointed in her first point regarding Topanga and Boy Meets World:

1. Topanga was at some point in human history considered not only a legitimate first name for a human being, but the kind of name that would inspire in malleable teenage boys a life-long infatuation. Topanga, in our day, was leading lady name-material Topanaga (pronounced Tah-payne-ga, for those who will have only seen in it written down) is the name of the quintessential girl-next-door who will live, along with Feeney, in our hearts forever. 

I took issue with this passage because Topanga was most certainly not the quintessential 90s girl-next-door. That title easily goes to Kelly Kapowski.

If my kids ever ask me about my youthful crush, Topanga wouldn't even cross my mind. I'm not sure why the article said she inspired a life-long infatuation within teenage boys. Nobody wanted Topanga. Let's not forget that in the early episodes of Boy Meets World, Topanga was a weirdo. I understand she became more normal & slightly more attractive as the series went on, but in no way did she ever make it into any conversations about "hot chicks on TV." Even Alex Mack was cuter than her.

Kelly Kapowski, on the other hand, was a well-rounded member of the community. On top of being quite the hottie, she was a cheerleader, a member of Hot Sundae, a waitress at The Max and a caring big sister to a ton of other siblings created by her seemingly anti-contraception parents. Kelly Kapowski is the quintessential 90s girl-next-door. And if you don't believe me, trust in the Biebs.