Thursday, July 01, 2010

Britney Hits Baby One More Time

Who knew I'd be able to play on the title of Britney's first hit single twice on my blog? Today, I read a story on WWTDD, via The Sun, that Britney is under investigation for alleged child abuse. From The Sun:

A source said, "He claims the first really shocking incident was when she came marching into the pool house at her mansion and demanded his belt. He handed it over but then followed her into the main house and claims he witnessed the alleged incident."

Flores also accused Britney of feeding the boys food they were allergic to, including shellfish. Child protection agency workers tried to quiz her last week, but she had left LA for a few days.

This is a joke. Right? You can report people for "child abuse" for spanking your kid with a belt? This is crap. I'm just going to put it out there -- if/when I have children, they're going to get spanked for disobeying me. I'm 100% for this type of child-rearing. How is a child going to know if he did something bad if all you do is lecture him? Britney's kids are three- and four-years-old. If she says, "No, Sean Preston. You cannot walk into the dirty public bathroom with your bare feet, like mommy," do you think he's going to understand? Hell no. That's where spanking comes in.

I totally got spanked when I was little, so I tried very hard not to cross my parents...except when it came to drinking. I crossed them many a time when it came to that. In any case, my mother, an amazing woman who doesn't look a day older than 35, was from the school of corporal punishment.

Once while we were living in California, she tried to spank me with her slipper but missed. She decided not to pursue me, so I, the victor in this situation, taunted her: "neh neh neh neh neh neh, you didn't get me," as I'm sticking my tongue out at her and waving my hands in a mocking fashion.

Awwwww shit. Hell hath no fury...

There was another time when we lived in Michigan, she said to me in Filipino, while waving the stick with which she was about to hit me, "Dapa!" At first, I had no idea what that meant, either because I had never heard it before (because I was mostly an angelic son), or I had simply forgotten it because I rarely spoke Filipino anymore. In any case, I didn't do anything, and she was getting even more angry with me. She yelled it a couple more times, while ominously waving that stick, but I still didn't do anything. Finally, she just asked me why I wasn't doing anything, and I replied that I didn't know what that meant.

Suddenly, a smile came to her face, then a laugh. My fear turned into laughter. An endearing mother-son moment. Surely, I was off the hook! But, sadly, no.

She explained to me what it meant. Loosely translated it means, "Get your ass down, face to the floor, because I'm about to hit you in the ass with this wooden stick!" Yup. Didn't disobey her again after that.

My mom wasn't the lone enforcer; my dad got in on it too. He hit me with a belt a couple of times, but I could tell he didn't really want to do it. He would spank me with the belt while I had my jeans on. That doesn't hurt. I would just say "ouch" and pretend it hurt, just to give him the impression that it really was teaching me a lesson. I have a feeling my mom made him do it. This is a man who has only yelled at me angrily about twice in my life, and once was to tell me that I sucked following an extremely poor performance after a futbol game.

(Just to be clear, I have no issues with the way my parents raised me. I think I turned out somewhat OK. I'm glad they were able to pass down such awesome parenting tips.)

Regarding the alleged feeding of food to which Britney's kids are allergic, that's not cool. If she did that, then lock that crazy woman up. Otherwise, leave her alone.

(Side note: Britney's antics make you forget how hot she used to be. Almost hard to believe the image is only seven-years-old. Awesome.)

1 comment:

  1. this blog is really good to read while stoned. haha.