Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sperm Shoes

I'm a big fan of Sky Mall, the in-flight magazine well-known for hawking everything from pool vacuums to garden bridges, as well as the latest offerings from Brookstone and Hammacher Schlemmer. Who doesn't want The Telekinetic Obstacle Course to pass the time?

On a recent trip, I was flipping through the magazine to check if Sky Mall still sells a hot dog cart because owning a hot dog cart intrigues me. As I was flipping through the pages, I came across an ad for the most ridiculous product I have ever seen -- Gravity Defyers.

The most glaring thing is the logo. It looks like sperm. It's on the side of the shoe, and it's used as the "g" and "d" in the logo lockup. Who designed this? Was the decision to use this logo unilateral? Was there not an employee who said, "Hey, Mr. _______. We shouldn't do this. The logo looks like sperm?"

After the logo, we need to examine the claims from the print ad (my comments in italics within parantheses):
- Feel Like You're Defying Gravity... GUARANTEED! (I always wanted moon shoes when I was a kid. Maybe this is my chance.)
- Imagine not being tired anymore... Imagine being pain free and filled with energy... Stop Imagining. (Aren't there drugs for all of the things just mentioned?)
- Should G-Defy be banned from Athletic Competition? They might be considered an unfair advantage. (I have no words.)
- Genesis of Athletic Excellence... Go from the weekend warrior to the daily champion at your gym and on the street. ("On the street?" Like, for street fights?)

Lastly, the shoe design is horrendous. The sneakers look like they were leftover models from 10 years ago. It's as if Payless and Skechers sold their shoe surplus from last decade to these guys, who then decided it would be a great idea to stick sperm on the side of the shoe. Honestly, I'd rather wear Shape-ups. I don't even want to get into the casual shoes.

2 comments:

  1. Haha. I found this same thing a while ago. Crazy that anyone thought this was a good idea :)

    http://www.datingyourdaughter.com/2009/10/sperm-shoes-now-available-in-womens-sizes/

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  2. dude this one was hilarious! hahahaha

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