Thursday, January 07, 2010

Things I Learned from Saved by the Bell: Part 2

I'm back with the second installment of my sporadic series, "Things I Learned from Saved by the Bell."

I always liked The Cutting Edge. I'm not quite sure why. I just remember renting the video when it came out and watching it over and over and over. That ridiculous move where D.B. Sweeney hammer-throws Moira Kelly into the air and catches her is...ridiculous. I have no other words to describe it. Because I was about 10-years-old when I saw it, I just let it slide.

Over the holiday break, The Cutting Edge was on TV. You better believe I watched it...at least up to the New Year's Eve party scene where they're face-to-face and gazing deeply, longingly, yet awkwardly into each other's eyes. As I was enjoying every moment of the first half of the movie, I came to a sudden realization: Moira Kelly reminded me of Stacey Carosi.

(Quick Aside: I will refer to The Cutting Edge characters by the actor names because that's just how I know them. I always knew the actor names, but can't remember the character names. I will refer to Saved by the Bell characters by their character names.)

They're from the East Coast, spoiled daughters with single fathers, look very similar and treated their men like crap before eventually falling in love. The entire relationship between Moira Kelly and D.B. Sweeney was exactly like the one between Stacey and Zack. Here is how it went down:

- D.B. Sweeney and Zack come into a new situation and think they're all that and a bag of chips because of their charm and/or minor league hockey skills.
- The spoiled daddy's girls get all bitchy and start raining on their parade. "Toe pick!" "Get to work, Morris!"
- The guys mess up by either voting for an ex-girlfriend in the Miss Liberty pageant or sleeping with a figure skating competitor.
- Daddy's girls get pissed because they think the actions of the guys reinforce their preconceived notions, but really it's because they're falling in love but don't yet realize it.
- The guys embark on quests to make it up to the girls because they feel bad, but really it's because they're falling in love with them, though they don't yet know it. They do this by attempting to excel in figure skating or winning an ATV race on the beach.
- In these acts of redemption, the Daddy's girls realize they're in love with the guys. They start making out with the guys, who think "Awesome! I'm making out with the boss's daughter." D.B. Sweeney had the extra thought, "I just hammer-threw a girl on figure skates and caught her...HOLY SHIT!"

The greatest scene in the history of figure-skating romantic comedies:

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