Monday, September 14, 2009

Music Monday Random Thoughts

It was extremely windy on Friday. Anytime it's windy, "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayze starts playing in my head nonstop. "Just a fooooooool to belieeeeeeeve..."

Christopher Cross is the greatest two-hit wonder we'll ever see, even better than Rick Astley. Rick Astley's two hits, "Never Gonna Give You Up" and "Together Forever," sound exactly the same. Christopher Cross's hits, "Sailing" and "Ride Like the Wind," are very different and very awesome.

On Tuesday, all the teachers on Facebook had statuses about how depressing it is to go back to work or "you can do it" messages of encouragement to one another. You just had an entire summer off in the country that has the longest summer vacation in the world. I'm hoping to get out of work by 6pm on Fridays. Go F yourselves.

On Thursday, a lot of people expressed excitement for the start of the NFL season via Faceboook status updates. I was actually more excited for the start of Fashion Week. It's way more fun to celebrate.

I don't get this youth tendency to add extra letters to accentuate a thought. It's stuuuuuupiiiiiid.

Vanity phone numbers are no good to me. My BlackBerry doesn't have the letters on the numbers.

Fame. I will see it. Definitely.

I know the anticipation for the movie is at feverish levels, but I had never heard about Where the Wild Things Are until the trailer was released a few months ago. I have no interest in seeing it. Sorry.

I haven't read or seen Twilight, but New Moon looks pretty awesome. It's like Interview with the Vampire meets Underworld meets Harry Potter.

The MJ tribute to open the VMA's was nasty.

I have issues with the Taylor Swift VMA subway performance.
- It's hot on the subway platform. She should've been sweating while wearing that coat.
- Where are all the other people on the platform?
- Trains aren't filled only with a bunch of young white people. Where are all the homeless? What about the kids who aren't into drugs and not in gangs, but selling M&M's for the class trip to Rome? And what if a Mexican band walked into that car? That would've been awkward.
- It's the g-damn F train. The train would've been stopped by the train operator for service issues like ten times, especially on the weekend.
- It took her a really long time to travel one stop uptown.
- The alarm didn't sound when she opened the emergency door.

Lady Gaga...WTF?!

Alicia Keys has to be one of the most beautiful women in the world.

I'm way too old to watch the VMA's. I had to google Taylor Lautner. Thanks to Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon for that amazing flashback to Boyz II Men.

Hope you enjoy the Christopher Cross to kickstart your week. Happy Monday!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

It's Different for Girls

"I don't wanna wake up 26, alone and single."

That's what some 23-year-old girl told me at 4:30am on her rooftop. Prior to this statement, she informed me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. We weren't even talking about relationships before she uttered those words. She just pulled an abrupt change-of-subject. I guess her repressed emo-tastic feelings about her newfound singledom suddenly crept out. Awesome conversation after a phenomenal night.

My response: "Ummm. I'm 26 and single. And so is my friend over there (pointing in the direction of Disco Stu, who went back to the apartment to get some gum). You're young. Everything will be fine. Really."

But she continued. "You don't understand because it's different for girls..." Blah blah blah. I already knew what she was about to say because I've heard the "It's Different for Girls" diatribe from female friends.

Generally, the argument is that girls want to find that "someone" or be in a serious committed relationship by the time they're 30. If children are in future plans, then part of the anxiety relates to the ticking biological clock. Sometimes it comes from cultural and/or family pressure. This particular girl was Korean (The Feva!), so she was talking about some heavy cultural expectations from her family and how she doesn't even like Korean guys (perfect--viva Mexico!).

(At this point, I'm hoping my friend had found the gum because the solo effort to derail this conversation was proving largely unsuccessful, and I needed support. Stat.)

The major source of the single-at-30 angst comes from what I'll call the Wooderson Effect. The most well-known quote from Dazed & Confused is the scene where Wooderson says, "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

This quote goes beyond Wooderson and high school girls. It applies to guys and girls of any age. If you need proof, look no further than Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner. During our internship in California five years ago, the HGOC and I witnessed it repeatedly. We'd go to the Calabasas Commons for lunch and often see 50- to 60-year-old men with beautiful girls in their 20s.

As a guy, I see a lot of promise in the Wooderson Effect and can understand why being single at 30 is a slightly mortifying thought to some girls. But for every Hugh Hefner, there is an Adam Duritz.

I've seen Adam Duritz a few times in the neighborhood. One particular night, I saw him with a very pretty blonde, checking out restaurants around the Lafayette-Great Jones intersection. I was waiting for a friend to pick me up for a futbol game, so I was able to observe them for a good ten minutes. They seemed very comfortable with each other, as if they had been dating for a decent amount of time. I was able to get a good-enough look at the girl to deduce that there was no way she was below 30 or over 40.

This last point surprised me. I expected Adam Duritz to date 20-year-olds until "Mr. Jones" became a golden oldie. He is the frontman lothario of Counting Crows and got Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston to break the "I Won't Date My Best Friend's Ex" rule. However, based on what I saw that evening, he preferred the company of someone closer to his age. I'm guessing he already went through that phase in his life and realized, "These girls are hot, but I have nothing in common with them."

I completely understand him. I went on a date with a 19-year-old last year. My guy friends gave me high-fives and nods of approval, while my female friends called me a predator, probably because they were 26, alone and single (JK! JK!). In my defense, I'm going to bring up the Predator Rule -- divide your age by 2 and add 7. Dating someone below this age gets you the creep ticket. I was 25 at the time, so 19.5 was my floor. I'm going to say the girl was 19 and 7 months, so I'm safe.

In any case, the girl was very pretty. She was a sophomore (yup--keep laughing) at FIT, so she had some great style and didn't dress her age. The only problem, besides the fact that she used a fake ID to order her beer, was that her stories ranged from how much more mature she was than her friends (she is an out-of-state student, so she knew how to do laundry and shop for groceries because she couldn't rely on her parents to do that stuff for her), to her internship and major. Cool story, Hansel. I'm actually surprised she didn't ask me whether I prefer beer or hard liquor or debate the pros and cons of getting simultaneously high and drunk.

The disparity in maturity levels is simply a byproduct of the age gap. There are certain things in life you can only experience with age. Sometimes this causes pronounced differences, which can be too difficult to overcome. Some guys, like Hugh Hefner, are more focused on physicality and couldn't care less about this issue. Other guys, like Adam Duritz, care about the whole package and have a hard time looking beyond it.

To my female readers, I don't think you have to worry about the Wooderson Effect. Yes--it's appealing to all guys, but in the end the majority of us will follow the footsteps of Adam Duritz. We're looking for a complete package. None of you are gold-digging attention whores willing to sleep with an 83-year-old just for the money -- at least I don't think any of you are -- so you're prime finds.

Like I told that Korean girl, "You're young. Everything will be fine. Really."

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Welcome Week: Adult Edition

In Monday's post, I expressed how much I miss Welcome Week at the University of Michigan. I miss it so much, I celebrated Welcome Week at NYU with The Booty and Disco Stu on Tuesday night . The evening started in a classy fashion -- enjoying wine and pizza outdoors, people-watching and discussing relationships, grad school and business ideas. Things quickly devolved when Disco Stu asked, "You guys wanna play beer pong?"

We couldn't get our check quickly enough. We basically sprinted to Wicked Willy's and discovered they had a "deal" -- $7 pitchers of Coors Light or Michelob Light. Sweet. Though I suppose it's better than a $7 Amstel Light.

We ordered a couple of pitchers and called next game on one of the tables, which were pretty ridiculous. They were black-lighted and neon. It reminded me of the days when my idea of cool room decor involved blue rope lights and liquor bottles filled with water and highlighter fluid. Also, they had actual slots for the cups. I thought it was brilliant functional design. It's a huge help when shitfaced college students, or 26-year-olds, can barely make out a triangle. The only drawback was that each slot essentially turned into a mini pool of spilled beer. It grossed me out a bit to think that we stacked cups and drank from them. Oh well. College!

We managed only two games of beer pong. We won our first game with ease, but played catch-up the entire second game. That second game was super annoying because our opponent, a broheim with a Jonas Brothers haircut, kept trying to institute his personal house rules. I repeatedly shot him down. We're at Wicked Willy's, and we're going to follow the bar rules and chill the F out. These children need to be more mature.

After beer pong, we bought more pitchers and and participated in karaoke night. I love karaoke, but I've never sang in front of a crowd. I always get private rooms in K-town or East Village karaoke bars with friends, and we sake bomb and sing for 2-3 hours. It's a great time.

To pop my public karaoke cherry, I picked "Gin & Juice" by the capital S, oh yes, the fresh N double O P D O double G Y D O double G ya see. I thought it was a great idea when I picked the song, but 20 minutes later when it was actually my turn, I suddenly became very aware that there were a lot of black people hanging around the karaoke area. Now my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy. I'm nervous, but on the outside I'm calm and ready. And wasted. 3-2-1...

"With so much drama in the L-B-C..."

The 4 minutes just flew. I fell behind on a couple of verses, but I got some backup from Disco Stu and the crowd. Overall, it went well.

After that, we continued to drink even more heavily. More pitchers, and maybe even a shot. I can't be certain. What I do know is that we turned the karaoke area into a dance party. I just hope nobody had a video camera.

I woke up at 10am on my futon in my underwear and socks. Yup, I was too drunk to take off my socks. My jeans and shoes were strewn across the floor, but I did manage to throw my shirt into the laundry basket. I had a pounding headache and a 10:30 meeting. I suffered all day at work, but it was totally worth it...

College chicks! As if I wasn't going to mention the best part. Yeah bro!