Monday, August 31, 2009

Welcome Week

I experience phases where I'm happy I've graduated from college and am building a career. But I also experience phases where I wish that my hardest task is determining whether to attend my Friday 8:30am ECON102 lecture in the MLB, possibly still drunk from the previous night's shark bowls at Rick's.

At the moment I'm experiencing the latter, and it might have something to do with the weather. NYC just completed its annual two-week spell of extreme humidity, and the cooler temperatures are hinting at a fantastic autumn. The overall atmosphere reminds me of Welcome Week, a magical time free of responsibilities where the only problem is determining the party or bar to hit each night.

Reuniting with roommates and friends, blowing $500 at Ulrich's on textbooks you'll never read, the collective anticipation for the upcoming football season and its pre-games, crossing your fingers that the moving truck next door is bringing some hot new neighbors, 2:30am munchies at Bell's or Big Ten Burrito, Meijer runs to stock up on booze and charging it to the parents' credit card as "groceries," wondering if this will be the year you finally kiss someone under the West Hall arch and scoping out the new crop of freshmen. Such an exciting time filled with so much promise.

Welcome Week, I miss you. So much.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dirty Dancing

After a year of saying I'd do it, I finally attended my first hip hop class. I went to an intro session last night with The Rainmaker, and the lesson was popping. The class began in a promising manner. We started stretching with some shoulder isolations, which I could actually do. And that was pretty much all I could do. Popping drills followed stretching, but I'm not certain I actually performed them correctly. The class finished with some choreography.

I now have immense respect for dancers. Dancing is extremely technical and requires a ton of skill and coordination. If the instructor wasn't in front of me, I couldn't perform the choreography. Actually, even when the instructor was in front of me, I still couldn't perform the choreography. I'm a disgrace to my people. (This is in addition to my mathematical ineptitude and poor karaoke skills.)

Since I'm rhythm-deficient, I wanted to compensate by wearing some fly threads (I think that is the official terminology). I asked around, but no one was able to define proper hip hop attire. I resorted to Google and was taken to a site that listed top hip hop brands, such as Pepe Jeans, Phat Farm, Pelle Pelle, Akademiks, Kangol, Enyce, Girbaud, etc. If you know me at all, you know I don't have such clothing. I ended up wearing Nike soccer shorts, adidas Italia shoes and my Detroit Project t-shirt that I picked up during Festifall. The only thing fly about the entire outfit was the fact that I had "Detroit" on the front of my shirt, but that's questionable at best.

Even though I wasn't very good and lacked the proper attire, it was still a lot of fun. I actually continued practicing the moves back at my apartment. I'm considering getting the 10-class special so I can continue my hip hop education. I'd like to get to a point where I can do flares, coin drops, tutting and waving. Let me know if you want to join. Perhaps we could even start our own street crew and perform at the South Street Seaport or Union Square.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Asian Tiger

Because Y.E. Yang smoked Tiger Woods at the PGA Championship, the sports world is going crazy about Asian golfers making the leap. Newsflash: Tiger Woods is half-Asian. If you're calling him black, you have to call him Asian. Following this sound logic, the leap has already been made.

Y.E. Yang simply represents a different type of Asian, the FOB. But I don't think it matters. Whether you were born in Korea or Southern California, if you have Asian blood, then you're Asian. So, Asians have been dominating golf for over a decade.

Shoutout to Chunky Salsa for getting me started on today's post.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Generation Next

I've been watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann lately, and he's not bad. Yes, I realize I'm late to the game. My bad. I spent most of my 20s watching Laguna Beach, The O.C. and Gossip Girl.

It dawned on me that there is a whole generation of kids who don't know the greatness that was Keith Olbermann and his tag team partner, Dan Patrick. They probably only know Keith from MSNBC and his feuds with Bill O'Reilly, and they probably only know Dan from his crappy columns in Sports Illustrated.

I started wondering about other people who have been in the public eye for so long, they're viewed differently by separate generations. Here's my list. Let me know your additions.

Marc Summers
My generation: Double Dare
Crazy kids: Unwrapped

Jenna Jameson
My generation: Greatest porn star in the world
Crazy kids: Victim of the porn industry

Mario Lopez
My generation: A.C. Slater
Crazy kids: World's most awesome ABDC host

Adam Sandler
My generation: The price is wrong, bitch.
Crazy kids: Zohan...

Green Day
My generation: Longview
Crazy kids: Whatever crappy song they release next

Katie Holmes
My generation: Joey Potter
Crazy kids: Tom Cruise's puppet

Larry King
My generation: What if this old guy dies on live TV?
Crazy kids: What if this old guy dies on live TV?

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Real World Sucks

Did you know there was a new season of The Real World? I just found out last week, and it's taking place in Cancun. I caught about ten minutes of last week's episode. For the first time in my life, I felt old watching that show. And for the first time, I had a strong hatred for it.

The entire cast seemed like little kids. They're only 4-5 years younger, but they just came off as babies. I saw one girl who keeps cuddling and flirting with guys. Then, the next second it's a preview for next week's episode where her long-distance boyfriend comes to visit, and she's doing a voice-over saying that the thought of him is the only thing keeping her sane in this crazy household.'re life is sooooo hard. So much drama. Screw you.

What the hell is real about working for StudentCity? They get wasted and hook up with randoms when they're not working, and when it's time to work they're too drunk so they just skip their shifts. It's not like they're getting fired. StudentCity probably paid some sort of fee to be able to employ them. They probably sponsored their random mid-season trip too. Please tell me about a job or life situation where someone just says to you one day, "Hey! You get to go on an amazing trip to an exotic destination, and all expenses are paid."

My friends and I are wasting away at our desks all day at jobs we hate. The only reason we do it is because we need to pay our ridiculous rents and fund our drinking, which is actually driven by our horrid jobs, and MTV is telling me this show is the real world? Change the g-damn name of the show!

Happy Monday!

Thursday, August 06, 2009


Shane, Lil' Mama, JC and Albert Clifford are back on Sunday and bringing it hard! You'll get to hear Shane rip it, Lil' Mama speak incoherently and JC bitch about choreography. After coming back from a commercial break, Mario will give a shout out to DJ Rashida "on the ones and twos," though I doubt he even knows what that means. Layla Kayleigh will bring her slamming body and mediocre face backstage for some in-depth interviews. But the moment I'm really looking forward to is when Randy Jackson says "Randy Jackson presents America's Best Dance Crew dawg."

Four predictions for the 4th season:
- We'll get a crappy all-girl cheerleading crew
- This year's gimmicky crew will be cloggers who skate
- An Asian crew will be fighting to earn their parents' respect
- Asians will win

Tune in on Sunday at 9pm. I'll be watching and ready to text a number to 22444 to vote for my favorite crew.