Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Kilo Watch 4

While many of you were celebrating America's independence, I was celebrating my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. To honor this milestone in commitment, my mom's entire side of the family went to Panglao in the province of Bohol. It was probably one of the most beautiful and relaxing places I've ever visited. We also drank a lot.

Even though I'd like to share all the hilarious drunken stories, I'll simply relay my favorite. We arrived at about 10am on Friday, and by 10:30am we were lounging on the beach drinking beers while my little cousins played in the water. By 12:30pm, we were either seriously buzzed or fairly drunk and were ready to eat lunch, though I think we just had major beer munchies.

We patronized the restaurant next to our resort, and the alcohol didn't stop flowing. More beers and cocktails were ordered, which is perfectly normal. However, my cousin ordered a Jaeger bomb for his drink. Yup. You read that correctly. He ordered a g-damn Jaeger bomb for his drink to go with his lunch. Unless you're on college spring break, that is far from normal.

This restaurant had one of those old-timey-looking tin signs: "Beer. Helping ugly people have sex since 1862." I initially didn't really care about the sign because I'd seen dozens of them in college. My mom, however, found this to be rather funny and felt the need to point it out to me. At that point I had a "eureka" moment. I got really excited and grabbed my 8-year-old cousin, a beer and the closest bar stool. For a moment, my family was looking at me in a confused manner. They all smiled with their assent and got their cameras ready when they realized what I was doing -- taking a picture of my 8-year-old cousin in front of the sign with a beer.

I have to give major credit to the little guy. He was a natural. I lifted him onto the bar stool and gave him the beer, and he just started posing for the cameras without any direction. For some reason, he already knew what drunkface looked like, so he started with that pose. Next, he gave us Magnum. Lastly, he showed us the euphoria that comes with realizing that beer is going to help him have sex. It was hilarious. Check out the shots in the collage above.

For those intrested in my weight, I was 74.9 kg (165.1 lbs) when I returned.


  1. I am not sure I am capable of having a Jäger bomb as a drink. Something inside me says to chug it. It's like when old chicks all of a sudden realize they are drying up and know to go hunting for dick.

    In related news, I would highly recommend going on a Jäger bomb crawl. You just walk down the street at night and stop in every place without a line and with no crowd around the bar. Then you order up a round of bombs, toast, drink, and move on. It's a great way to end a night and ruin your next day.

  2. LOL this is hilarious. gab's drunk face, i reckon he saw you do that we he was little... or at least one of us. LOL. a natural.

    hope you're having a blast! i miss you guys!