Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Running Burrito 2009

For the 2nd consecutive year, I am running in Memorial Sloan-Kettering's Rock & Run on the River to support cancer survivorship. I've already reached half of my $500 fundraising goal, and I'm hoping all of you loyal readers will donate to the cause and help me exceed my goal.

Here are some reasons you should support The Dirty Burrito:
  1. I'm running for my grandmother, a breast cancer survivor. I'm just a young lad trying to make his grandmother proud. Who can't support that?
  2. I like to believe The Dirty Burrito brings immense joy into your lives. Think of your donation as a "thank you" for that joy.
  3. I am, once again, offering to make a cameo appearance at a public event of any donor. The presence of an Internet celebrity will bring immediate credibility to your gathering. If you give me enough money, I'll make the appearance in my hot dog or bumble bee costume -- your choice.
In all seriousness, this 5K is for a great cause. I really do hope you'll support me. Whether it's $5 or $50, any donation will be greatly appreciated.

The race takes place on June 7, which is a week from Sunday. I know for a fact that some of you get paid tomorrow because it's the end of the month, and some of you who get paid bi-weekly will get paid next Friday. I dare you to use a bit of that disposable income on my Rock & Run campaign. If you missed my two previous links, please donate here.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Nick Lachey

Last week, I expressed my shock at seeing Nick Lachey on One Tree Hill. It seems I'm not the only one surprised by this development. The Soup finds Nick Lachey's appearance on the show completely ridiculous as well. I mean...really...who does sing like that?

(Side note: Nick Lachey and Stephen Colletti together on television -- MTV reality has-been overload.)


Monday, May 18, 2009

I Object...to the Real World

Congratulations are in order for Old Guy and Roommate #2. After three arduous years, they've finally graduated from NYU Law and will begin what surely will be illustrious careers at major NYC law firms.

I welcome them to the real world, a wonderful place where people are worked long hours for very little pay. My old college roommate, The Actor, summed up our existence perfectly. He was filming Gracie, and he said, "I just worked my first five-day week ever. Now I know why you people look forward to the weekend so much."

F#cking actors.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Screw Chuck Bass. I am Sulu.

Star Trek is awesome! I want to be John Cho. Sulu baby. Sulu. I'm taking fencing lessons.

The Gossip Girl flashback episode sucked. I struggled to get through it. I'm definitely not watching a Lily/Rufus spinoff, if that ever comes to fruition.

Chuck Bass would sabotage a corsage in the name of fashion.

Screw the Daily Intel recap of last week's episode. They led me to believe that yesterday's episode was the season finale. I wanted to throw my plate at the TV because I thought season 2 was about to end with the Van Der Woodsen women apologizing to each other.

If his love for literature and Brooklyn hipster vibe didn't completely convince you Dan Humphrey was white, his dancing at prom certainly put to bed any remaining doubts.

I stopped watching One Tree Hill a couple years ago, but I still catch commercials and the opening teaser montage to setup the current episode. From what I see, the ridiculousness shows no signs of stopping. This is what I saw just from last night:
  • Nick Lachey is on the show or making some sort of cameo. Nick Lachey?! Does he play himself, or does he pretend to be another musician -- kind of like how Tyler Hilton played Chris Keller a few years back?
  • Stephen Colletti lost his virginity to Brooke Davis! But what about LC?! Those two were meant to be!
  • Why does someone on this show always have some sort of life-threatening disease? I remember Lucas having a heart disease called HCM. There was a lot of drama about whether he should continue playing high school basketball. Now Peyton has some sort of disease that can cause her to hemorrhage when she gives birth. Wait...she's pregnant?! WTF! She was supposed to end up with Jake!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Gossip Girl Flashback

I had written an entire post about the bizarre love triangle of Chuck, Blair and Nate. It's easily the most interesting storyline on Gossip Girl right now. The exchange between Chuck and Blair at the Russian Tea Room was intense. "Because I love her. I can't make her happy." Deep.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get the previews for next week's flashback episode out of my head. It looks terrible! I love the 80s, but the teaser didn't really look that awesome.

Last year, there were rumors of a Gossip Girl spinoff that would follow the young lives of Rufus and Lily. I'm guessing the next episode is serving as a test to gauge interest and to determine whether to greenlight the project. Next week should be interesting.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Cheesy 90s Rock

If I could go back in time and be part of any band, I'd be in one of the huge 80s hair bands like Bon Jovi or Motley Crue. That was crazy! However, out of pure curiosity, I'd also consider one of those cheesy, early-90s alternative bands. I'm thinking Toad the Wet Sprocket or Gin Blossoms.

How'd I get to internally debating this completely random scenario? About a week ago, I had a completely random urge to listen to "Walk on the Ocean" by Toad the Wet Sprocket. I hadn't heard the song in forever and was totally into it, so I thought to myself, "I need to make a cheesy early- to mid-90s rock playlist on YouTube!"

Interestingly enough, the only songs I could come up with were by Toad the Wet Sprocket and Gin Blossoms.

Toad the Wet Sprocket
Walk on the Ocean
All I Want

Gin Blossoms
Found Out About You
Til' I Hear It From You
Hey Jealousy
Until I Fall Away

I started thinking about the touring experience with those bands, and it must've been completely different from Motley Crue.

On one hand, you have Motley Crue. They sang about sex, women and drugs, and they had the sluttiest & hottest groupies dying for a chance to contract an STD from (or give to) Tommy Lee or Nikki Sixx. It must've been a nonstop party. And from what I remember from VH1's Behind the Music, that's exactly what it was.

On the other hand you have Gin Blossoms. Listening to their music is like a kiddie rollercoaster. When I hear one of their songs I think, "This is catchy. This is a great song. I really like it." But when I actually pay attention to the lyrics I think, "Geez. This is sad and depressing." Take these lyrics from "Hey Jealousy":

Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too

If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago

I might be here with you


Stop beating yourself up. Years have passed. Let it go. You're in a popular band now, so have fun.

With songs like that, touring with the Gin Blossoms must be the complete opposite of touring with Motley Crue. Do they attract emotional, intellectual artsy groupies? Would their parties even be fun? Would they party at all? When I think of a Gin Blossoms groupie, I picture Heather, Josh's college girlfriend from Clueless. If you recall, she was wearing her coffeehouse beret and discussing something BORRRING with Josh before Cher totally owned her with her Polonius correction.

Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.
(Sidenote: While we're flashing back anyway, take a moment to let this fact sink in. Before we realized he was an anti-Semitic drunk who is about to get cleaned out by his soon-to-be ex-wife, Mel Gibson was one of the sexiest men alive. Ha!)

Aside from letting you know that I'm probably the only person who would wish to be a Gin Blossom, what was the whole point of this post? Because I want to give you a Music Monday video.

Ultimately, I was unsatisfied with the fact that the only cheesy early- to mid-90s alternative music I could remember was made by Toad the Wet Sprocket and Gin Blossoms. I knew there had to be more, so I dug deep and tried to remember something...anything from my middle school years. And I came up with this classic: "Sick of Myself" by Matthew Sweet. Definitely mid-90s cheese. Pay close attention, and you'll even see his Airwalks. Oh hell yeah.