Thursday, February 05, 2009

Another 12.5 Dirty Facts

.5) This applies to food and women.

14) I enjoy watching people play video games more than playing them. I remember lying in my bed and watching my dad play Wolfenstein 3-D for hours on the weekends. I'd be as excited as him whenever he found a new secret passage or killed a boss enemy. During the Christmas break when Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was released, I remember spending most of it in the basement of the Hottest Guy on Campus watching him plow through the game. When he was driving a car, I'd always make him tune to the station that played "Africa" by Toto.

15) "Africa" must be played at my wedding.

16) I had a ping pong table when I was a kid. I used to fold up half the table and hit against it for long periods of time. And yes, I did have friends. They were all white, and none of them could beat me.

17) I have no issues with the word “moist,” and I’ll seize any opportunity to insert “just the tip” into conversation.

18) I always wished I had been a gymnast. Pommel horse and rings look so awesome.

19) I hated playing soccer for my high school. When I tore two ligaments in my knee at the beginning of my sophomore year, I was actually relieved. As I was being carried off the field and as the initial excruciating pain was wearing off, I felt a brief, yet sick sense of happiness, and I actually smiled because I suddenly realized I wouldn't have to play anymore. That is truly loathing something.

20) I don't freak out when I see celebrities. In fact, I sometimes don't even notice they're around. However, if I'm lucky enough to hop in the Cash Cab one day, I'll lose my mind the moment the ceiling lights up and Ben Bailey faces me to reveal his identity. I don't even care if I win anything.

21) I love shopping, particularly for shoes and bags. I know what you're thinking. Screw you! It’s OK for guys to like shoes and bags.

22) If I won the lottery, the first thing I’d do is purchase the loft Tom Hanks had in Big. I’d decorate it exactly like in the movie, and then I’d hire a DJ and throw a party for my friends. I'd also get one of those giant floor keyboards so people could play “Chopsticks” together.

23) I moved to Michigan in the winter of 1988. My only exposure to Americans was people bundled up in layers of clothing. When the weather started getting warmer, I wasn’t sure that people in the states wore shorts. I repeatedly asked my mother whether Americans wore shorts. I was extremely self-conscious that first summer in the states because I thought I’d be the only person wearing shorts.

24) While working in the Philippines at my uncle's ad agency three years ago, I "starred" in two PSA's, served as a body double for a Filipino action star and was featured in a Coppertone Sport print ad that made honorable mention at the Cannes Lions 2006.

25) One night in high school, my brother, El Burrito Grande, and I watched a full marathon of Road Rules Australia, which aired sometime between the hours of midnight and 6am. This is incredible to me because we don't watch anything together, and we didn't say a single word to each other the entire time.We reacted in laughter, shock and awe at the appropriate moments, and when it was done, we retired to our separate bedrooms without even acknowledging what we had just accomplished.


  1. um, I LOVE "Africa" by Toto... and oddly enough I request it at every wedding I attend.

  2. The Rainmaker2/05/2009 11:12 AM

    #22 - I'll be right there decorating with you! "I met a girlfriend - a triscuit. She said, a triscuit - a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly's out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma's credit. I'm cool. I'm hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times."

  3. lol at 19
    aye at 21
    24 would be my response to 20. haha