Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Back to Work Randomness

If you were lucky enough to get MLK Day off, welcome back to work. If you had to work yesterday, I’m sorry that you’re employed by such a heartless organization. I had a totally random holiday, so I just have a bunch of random thoughts.


I attended an all-boys Catholic high school in Michigan. There were no more than 800 students in the whole school, and most of them were white. In each of my four years, there were always a handful of Asian kids in each class and probably about five black students in the entire school.

On MLK Day, the school gave the black students the option of observing the holiday. Obviously, they took advantage of this. And good for them, because I would have done the same if that option had been offered to me.

But it wasn’t, and I thought this was ridiculous, but not because they only gave the black students the day off. I wanted to know why they didn’t give the Asian students the day off too. We’re yellow and/or brown. Maybe we wanted to observe the holiday!

If this asinine policy is still in place, I would advise any Chinese students to fight for the right to observe the holiday. All they have to do is point to the South Africans, who’ve reclassified the Chinese as “black.”

Snowball Fights

There really isn’t anything quite as fun as the childlike joy of an impromptu snowball fight. On Sunday night I had two of them, the first in the Meatpacking District after an all-you-can-drink champagne extravaganza and the second in Tompkins Square Park after slumming it in an Alphabet City dive.

This was quite amazing because I haven’t been in a snowball fight since my sophomore year in college, which was six years ago. My roommates and I had engaged in a street snowball fight with another random group of guys. It was only after the second snowball struck me in the face that the guys told us they were on the baseball team. It definitely explained why I was getting rocked by such pinpoint accuracy from 50 feet away.

Anyway, I totally went Dumb & Dumber on the girls on Sunday night. You know the scene where Harry just unleashes a bomb on Mary? That was me. The best shot of the night was when I slid on the snow-covered sidewalk and, mid-slide, threw a rocket at The Rainmaker, hitting her directly in the crotch area. According to her my exact quote was, “I got the babymaker!”

Van Der Geek

I watched One Tree Hill last night. I couldn’t resist tuning in because I noticed James Van Der Beek on the commercials delivering this classic line, “We're gonna get more tail than a toilet seat in Yankee Stadium.”

First of all, I have an issue with this line. I understand what the writers wanted to convey, but I don’t think of hotness when I think of toilets or Yankee Stadium. This was a poor comparison.

Secondly, James Van Der Beek was a terrible casting selection. He was playing a hotshot Hollywood director, and his performance reminded me of Ari Gold from Entourage.

They had him reading the “get more tail” line and talking about how he banged a flight attendant. I didn’t buy it. This is Dawson Leery. For lack of a better word, he was a huge pussy! I kept picturing him and Joey Potter in his bedroom using really big words to talk about movies, love and life. And all they did was talk because Dawson had no balls.

Gossip Girl

Last night was the college acceptance episode. Honestly, I didn’t have much hope for it at the beginning, but it got really juicy at the end. Ms. Carr and Dan are definitely going to make sweet, illegal love. And Ms. Carr is pretty cute.

In any case, I got a little depressed because it got me thinking about the potential direction the show will take after this season. They’ll have graduated high school by season’s end, and Josh Schwartz could take the show in one of three paths:

  1. Magically have everyone attend Columbia so they can continue the story in college and in Manhattan
  2. Everyone takes a year off before starting school and sticks around the city
  3. Skip college completely and give everyone a posh, successful career

I’m a huge opponent of option 1. Everyone knows the college story line doesn’t work. If you want proof, just look at what happened to Dawson’s Creek and Saved by the Bell: The College Years. The plots were unbelievably uninteresting. Everyone knows there isn’t any real drama in college. It’s just drunkenness, late-night cramming and the freshman 15. Also, dorm rooms are unrealistically depicted as enormous spaces. I’d watch Dawson’s Creek but actually couldn’t get past the size of Joey’s dorm room. It was terrible.

There may be something to option 2. I’d be curious to see what plot developments would be used to have all the people stay in the city and delay college for a year.

The third option appears to have promise. It’s already been done by One Tree Hill and seems to be working. They already have a head start with Chuck because he’s taking over Bass Industries when he turns 18. I don’t think it would be too far-fetched to place these powerful, well-connected rich kids in successful positions.


I finally decided to join Twitter. I haven’t posted anything yet, but I’ll start soon. I’ve added the Twitter widget in my right nav so you can follow my updates. Let me know if you’re on it, and I’ll follow your updates.


The Michael Jackson station is the best station ever. Artists played on this station include Janet, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Prince, Justin Timberlake, The Police, Lionel Richie and many more. Pure awesomeness. Listen to it to brighten your work day.

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