Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hot Dog

I find it ironic that the Recession Special at Gray’s Papaya has actually increased in price during a recession. Two years ago, I wrote about the Recession Special and how I used to order one after every soccer game. Back then, it only cost $2.75. I walked by Gray’s Papaya today and saw the Recession Special priced at $4.45.

This is ridiculous. In times of trouble, I should be able to count on being able to purchase two hot dogs and a drink for under $3.

On a related note, I’m dressing as a hot dog for Halloween. Come hang with me on Friday. You’ll get to see a dancing hot dog.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Robbing the Cradle

SPOILER ALERT: Don’t read on if you haven’t watched last night’s episode.

Last night’s Gossip Girl was a wild rollercoaster of drama. The episode focused on four main plot lines:

- Dan and Serena making another attempt to be friends

- Jenny and her fashion designing career

- The star-crossed love saga between Chuck and Blair

- Nate making out with Jenny

The Dan-Serena story was your typical Dan-Serena story—the two don’t communicate well, they have an argument and make up in a passive aggressive, mumbling manner. Jenny and her fashion career was somewhat crazy, but I’m not all that interested in a drama between a 15-year-old and a Blair’s mom. Chuck and Blair was super intense, as always. I’m extremely interested to see what happens between the two of them.

What I really want to discuss is the completely random, out-of-the-blue crush that Nate developed for Jenny. Nowhere in prior episodes did we see this coming. Keep in mind that Nate just moved in with the Humphreys, so if this progresses to anything, it'll be a strange situation.

Also, let’s note the age difference here. Taylor Momsen is 15; Chace Crawford is 23. I understand it’s acting, but it’s still a bit strange. I was watching that closing kissing scene between the two of them thinking, “No fucking way…this show is awesome!” But then I thought, “No fucking way…isn’t she 15, and he’s around my age? Yikes!”

Monday, October 27, 2008


Today's video is "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship. I particularly like this song because it reminds me of riding in the car with my mother back in the day when we lived on The Island. As you grow older, you begin to forget more of the stuff that happened pretty early in life. For some reason, this song has that unique ability to give me that feeling that I'm actually back in time.

Also, I like how awesomely bad this video is. The song is from the motion picture, Mannequin. First of all, the video basically has Starship recreating segments of the movie, interspersing those segments with actual clips and trying to make it seamlessly appear as if they're part of the movie. As you can see, this attempt was a massive failure.

One would think they'd be able to pull it off, or at least take a really good shot at it. This is Starship...they were so popular, they played MTV Spring Break at Daytona Beach. Think about that for a second. It may not seem like it because this video is two decades old, but Starship was so awesome that they played an MTV Spring Break back when MTV thought the coolest place in the world to go on spring break was Daytona Beach, Florida. Can you imagine a group of raging drunk college kids rocking out to this song and "We Built This City"? (I totally can. I was born in the wrong decade.)

Lastly, we have further video evidence that Kim Cattrall is only good at playing a slut. Even as a mannequin that comes to life, we see multiple instances of her stripping down.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Wish I Could Be There

I arrived late from L.A., and though I don't have much commentary for you, I still want to give you your weekly dose of music. Here is one of my favorite songs - "So Electric" by Lifelike.

This song doesn't actually have an official music video. There are two videos on YouTube, and I prefer this long version juxtaposed with dance clips and sound bites from the cult hit movie, Xanadu. If you want to listen to the song without the sound bites, check out the slightly shorter version.

You can't go wrong with either. Just hit play, listen and relax.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Apocalypse Now

The Dirty Burrito is going going back back to Cali Cali, which should lead to debauchery of epic proportions. Not only am I reuniting with my dearest friends from the West Coast, but a small contingent of my East Coast friends are going as well. And when I say "friends," I actually mean "people I hang with who'll eventually lead me toward liver failure and AA."

For those of you who'll be out there and want to join the fun, here is the itinerary:

Friday (aka A Day with The Homewrecker)
-Day: L.A. eating excursion including crack tacos and the famous BJ's pizookie
-Night: Redondo Beach for BBQing and a beach bar crawl

Saturday (aka The HJ Birthday Blackout)
-Day: Santa Monica for what the Hottest Guy on Campus has dubbed the "Ninja Bar Crawl" because there'll be a lot of Asians, and as everyone knows, we're all ninjas
-Night: A bar called El Carmen because they serve margaritas, and The Dirty Burrito loves the official drink of his native land

To top it all off, I'm working on a crippled right leg and a crutch...Tiny Tim-style. My beach bar crawls should be interesting.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Drinking in L.A.

Whenever I hear a song about California, most likely on an MTV reality show, it’s usually just about the sun, sand and freeways. Back in August of 2007, I wrote the following in my Newport Harbor review:

“Predictably, they opened the show with a song about California. You know—a song which mentions something about the sun, the sand and either the 405 or the 101? OK. We get it. The show is set in California. You have fantastic weather, gorgeous beaches and congested freeways. Sweet. Pick more original songs.”

“Drinking in L.A.” by Bran Van 3000 is a nice departure from the usual idealistic formula. It actually does a very good job of mocking the Los Angeles lifestyle. Take these lyrics:

Feeling kinda groovy

Working on a movie (yeah right!)

But we did nothing, absolutely bupkis that day

Each time I visit L.A., I get the feeling that nobody really works over there. I think people enjoy pretending like they work. Why should I have to wait in line at the cupcake store or at a breakfast joint in the middle of a weekday? Shouldn’t people be in the office?

In any case, I’ll be in L.A. this week from Thursday-Sunday. Call me if you would like to hang.

Friday, October 10, 2008

There's Only One Maverick T-Shirt

In a comment on my post about the one true maverick, an anonymous reader left the URL to this t-shirt. I like it. Go get one.

And the wannabe maverick is a whore:

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Literally Awesome

“A Little Respect” by Erasure has to be the most literal video ever. I have no idea what made me think of this song, but I like it a lot.

The entire video is the vocalist singing while literal depictions of the lyrics fade in and out in the lower portion of the screen. My favorite is the one where they flash the flag for the 1998 Olympics in Seoul while he sings the word “soul.” Genius.

On a completely unrelated note and because I have nothing further to say about the today’s music video, my roommates and I discovered one of the funniest shows on television. It’s called Sex...with Mom and Dad on MTV.

The premise is that families who want to have a more open dialogue about sex go to Dr. Drew to try and help facilitate and start this more open relationship. The parents and kids sit together with Dr. Drew, who tries to understand the problem. Once he determines the problem, he gives the family tasks that will help them on their path to opening up.

Some highlights:

- An 18-year-old girl who is a virgin and is about to go to college has to learn how to put on condoms using a cucumber. She has to do this with her dad, who is a cop. She also asked him if you can get pregnant via anal and how many girls have performed oral sex on him. I felt awkward typing that last sentence…

- A girl from Long Island has had sex with 4 guys…and she’s only 16-years-old. This is why I sometimes consider not having children.

- A 19-year-old manwhore has to drive around with his mother and they have to show each other memorable places they’ve had sex. It’s called The Bonk Tour. His mom also told him that she didn’t have her first orgasm until her mid-thirties. Fantastic!

You can watch full episodes online. Enjoy.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

There's Only One Maverick in This Debate

In last night's VP debate, the librarian MILF only further solidified her reputation for being ridiculously uninformed.

Everyone knows there's only one Maverick, and he flies with Goose. He pushes boundaries—he rides a motorcycle, sings Righteous Brothers to unsuspecting females at bars and plays beach volleyball in jeans and no shirt.

If she refers to herself as "maverick" ever again, Ice Man will have to step in to lay the smack down.

White Rabbit

In another food-related blow to the Asian community, the Department of Consumer Protection advised consumers not to eat White Rabbit Creamy Candy. The Connecticut Agriculture Experiment Station Laboratory has determined that the product contains the potentially deadly chemical melamine, which is the culprit in the current worldwide food scare.

For those who aren’t familiar with White Rabbit, think of a white, slightly softer, Asian version of a Tootsie Roll. But if you got a ton of them for Halloween, you wouldn’t avoid them. They’d be the first candies to go. Also, within the outer wrapper, the candy is rolled in a thin, edible sticky rice wrapper. (That’s correct. We even found a way to get rice into our candy.)

Upon reading this news story, I E-mailed a bunch of my Asian friends. I immediately got a response from the Rainmaker: “whaaaat? the writer of this article just hates asians.”

As you can see, food is a very sensitive issue for my people. First, Sam’s Club tries to take away our rice. And now they go after a popular childhood treat. We can only take so much. Next thing you know, they’re going to tell us soy sauce is too high in sodium…

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I Saw Doogie Howser, M.D.

I saw Neil Patrick Harris this past Saturday night. He was dining at Georgia’s Eastside BBQ, a tiny BYOB barbecue spot in the Lower East Side. He was with a group of about nine dudes celebrating a bachelor party (I’m 99.5% certain it was a gay bachelor party, but that’s beside the point).

At first I thought, “Why the hell would Doogie Howser, M.D. dine at a tiny BYOB barbecue joint in the Lower East Side?” The man starred in his own series in the 90s, is currently starring in a hit sitcom, had very memorable rolls in both Harold & Kumar movies and stars in an Old Spice commercial. Surely, he and his friends could’ve afforded to go somewhere else. I even know much better BYOB places in the area where they could’ve eaten and gotten reservations.

In any case, I was very excited to be within 15 feet of the real Doogie Howser, M.D., so I texted a bunch of people about this sighting. I normally don’t care about sightings, but I was in the presence of greatness. He was licensed to practice medicine at 14—the youngest licensed doctor in the country! I had to alert the world.

I got a few amusing responses, but the text from The Little Taquito was priceless: “I don’t even know who that is..but sweet dudeee.”

That didn’t make me feel old at all. I suppose it makes sense for her not to know Doogie. The series ended in 1993, two months before she was born. But still…it’s Doogie Howser M.D.—he was the youngest licensed doctor in the country! I can still hear the theme song in my head, and I can see the letters typing out on the old school WordPerfect blue screen. Oh the good ol’ days…