Because of the damage done to my wallet and liver over the last month, particularly this past weekend with The Homewrecker, today’s video is “Damaged” by Danity Kane.
I realize this song is about a woman who has trust issues because she’s been wronged in previous relationships, but let’s not forget this is Danity Kane. It’s not as if a genius like Babyface wrote the song. Whoever wrote the song was just looking for a simple, catchy hit. We’re not exactly being showered with a masterful display of songwriting.
I’m pretty sure I could cleverly replace the word “heart” and pieces of a few other lines throughout the song, and the song would instantly be about my spending and drinking habits. For example, here are revised excerpts from the first verse and chorus:
Do, do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound?
Are you patient,
Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart wallet and I
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart cash flow is
So damaged (so damaged)
And you can blame the one shots before
That doesn’t see so hard, no? That only took me about two minutes, including formatting the font.
I’d also like to make it clear that this isn’t a knock on Danity Kane. The girls are paid to look good, dance and sing—in that priority. Based on this video, I'd say they do those three things well.
As for me, I need to patch up my wallet and be more kind to my body. I’ll be hibernating in my apartment, so please don’t expect to see me for awhile.