Monday, September 29, 2008

I Need a Break

Because of the damage done to my wallet and liver over the last month, particularly this past weekend with The Homewrecker, today’s video is “Damaged” by Danity Kane.

I realize this song is about a woman who has trust issues because she’s been wronged in previous relationships, but let’s not forget this is Danity Kane. It’s not as if a genius like Babyface wrote the song. Whoever wrote the song was just looking for a simple, catchy hit. We’re not exactly being showered with a masterful display of songwriting.

I’m pretty sure I could cleverly replace the word “heart” and pieces of a few other lines throughout the song, and the song would instantly be about my spending and drinking habits. For example, here are revised excerpts from the first verse and chorus:

First Verse
Do, do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,
Are-are-are-are you?
Are you patient,
Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart wallet and I

Damaged, damaged
Damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart cash flow is
Damaged, damaged
So damaged (so damaged)
And you can blame the one shots before

That doesn’t see so hard, no? That only took me about two minutes, including formatting the font.

I’d also like to make it clear that this isn’t a knock on Danity Kane. The girls are paid to look good, dance and sing—in that priority. Based on this video, I'd say they do those three things well.

As for me, I need to patch up my wallet and be more kind to my body. I’ll be hibernating in my apartment, so please don’t expect to see me for awhile.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Must-See Monday

After last night’s 3-hour marathon of Gossip Girl and Heroes, I’ve decided that Monday is the best night of television.

Gossip Girl is starting to heat up. Thanks to a scheming Chuck Bass, Serena and her bootylicious ass are about to usurp the queen B, which should set off a chain reaction of drama for the rest of the season.

Heroes had a 2-hour season premiere, and it was awesome. It looks like the quality of this season will be closer to that of season 1 than season 2. Definitely a good thing. Another good thing—Dania Ramirez is back in my life.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Admit it. When you were younger, you thought Phil Collins was singing "stu-stu-studio."

I picked "Sussudio" because it's a fun song (but extremely difficult to sing in karaoke). It's a good tempo-setter for the week ahead. Hot Dog Tuesday makes its triumphant return, and The Homewrecker is coming to NYC on Wednesday night. Holler at me if you would like to join the festivities. We will be eating and partying all week.

I always wondered about the meaning behind the song. What is sussudio? Good thing we have Google. Here is what I found (courtesy of songfacts):

On a 1997 episode of VH1 Storytellers, Collins said: "This is one of those examples of improvising lyrics. You know, sometimes you can use the lyric, other times you're in big trouble, because what you write doesn't mean anything. So I set up this drum-machine pad, and I got some chords, and I started to sing into the microphone, and this word came out, which was "sus-sussudio." It just literally came out, at the time... that was back when I could dance, so I kind of knew I had to find something else for that word, then I went back and tried to find another word that scanned as well as "sussudio," and I couldn't find one, so I went back to "sussudio." Then I thought OK, let's give it a meaning, what is it? The lyrics are based on this schoolboy crush on this girl at school. It's happening with my daughter now, she's 8 years old and she loves this boy, but she won't tell him, like in the lyrics this boy loves her but they don't talk about it... how do they know? 'I know she likes me, I know she likes me, doesn't know my name, doesn't know I exist, but I know she likes me'... So that's what the song is about, so "sussudio" became a name for this person, and since it's become a name for a horse. My older daughter's got a horse called Sussudio, and I'm sure there are children all over the world with the name Sussudio, so I apologize for that."

There it is folks. Here's the video. Enjoy the week, and I hope you can join the fun.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Theatrical Dance Party

Last night, I saw Fuerzabruta. The name translated means "brute force." It was actually more like psychedelic, trippy, dance force. But it was awesome.

I don't want to give too much away, but the best description I can give, which came from a friend of a friend, is that it's like being at a play and a club at the same time. It was cool performance art combined with awesome house beats.

Fuerzabruta is definitely one of the best shows I've seen. Tons of fun. If you're in NYC, you should check it out. Prepare to get wet...and dance.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Facebook Family

The Mom and Pop Shop joined Facebook this week. I find this development to be quite awesome. (The Little Taquito is not a team player. My sister has rejected their friendship because it is “freaky” – whatever that means.)

I’ve noticed some interesting and funny things with my parents’ new membership. For one thing, my dad has signed up as Tommy. Ever since we moved to The Americas in the late 80’s, my dad has gone by Tom. I only found out a few years ago that he always used to go by Tommy…strange. I can only assume he signed up as Tommy because he’s reconnecting with his friends from The Island. Or he’s having an identity crisis. I don’t really know.

In terms of profile pictures, I give each of them an A+. They threw professionalism out the window and went with creativity. My mom has a masquerade mask, and my dad chose a picture of him wearing an oversized sombrero from last year’s Cancun trip.

Their status messages are also amusing. My dad frequently likes to update the world about how the weather is affecting his golfing situation. (Sweet!) Based on my mom’s status from Sunday, she seems to be addicted: “just made a good breakfast for tom and will now take a break from this very addicting and wll try to do a little cleaning, see you in a bit.”

The funniest thing I’ve seen thus far is the comment my dad posted on my uncle’s (mom’s brother) wall: “Looks like you lost some weight bro. or is that just a loose shirt hiding all that bulge?”

I literally laughed out loud. I’ve never heard the guy use “bro” in conversation—ever. Now he’s dropping it in Facebook wall comments. I was totally tempted to jump in on the wall convo with this classic, but I don’t think they’re well-versed in Zoolander quotations:

Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra.

I had some free time at work on Friday, so I suggested several friends for them. I included a large group – old soccer teammates, high school friends, college friends and relatives. If I forgot you, don’t fret. It’s not because I hate, it’s because I ran through my friend list fairly quickly and accidentally missed you. If you know my parents, please friend them. Or if you don’t know them and just want to know the lovely people that grounded me for the majority of the fall semester of my junior year of high school for drunkenly operating a Sea-Doo, injuring myself and scarring my left eyebrow, just ask and I’ll give you the necessary to get this online friendship in motion.

In any case, what does all of this have to do with Music Monday? Though I feel it’s fantastic that my parents have joined my online social network, I also think it’s bizarre. How bizarre? I’ll let OMC tell you.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I Saw Blake Lively

I got a text from Roommate #2 yesterday: “Gossip girl is filming tonight at Wooster and broome.”

At first, I just shrugged off the text. There was no way I was going to make the 15 minute walk to Soho, with the possibility of rain, just for the chance to see someone from Gossip Girl. But then, I got a little more curious, so I asked about the time of the shoot and the reliability of his information.

He responded: “I walked by and read a posting from warner bros. The trucks were already there. From 7 to 12 they’Ll be shooting.”

At that point, I wanted to go. Luckily, Old Guy was home. He spends most of his time doing intellectual things like reading New Yorker or law school textbooks, but I know he likes Blake Lively. I dangled this potential carrot in front of him and after several minutes of internal debate, he bit.

Game on. Two dudes in their mid- to late-twenties are spending part of their Tuesday night at a Gossip Girl shoot.

I assumed it was a street scene, so I figured there would only be 2-3 of the characters filming. I didn’t really care about seeing the entire cast. After committing a portion of my Tuesday night to this endeavor, I was just hoping to see someone…anyone. (I could’ve been watching 90210!)

Below is a list of the cast, in order of who I most wanted to see:

1. Ed Westwick (Chuck) or Blake Lively (Serena)

2. Leighton Meester (Blair)

3. Chace Crawford (Nate)

4. Jessica Szohr (Vanessa)

5. Penn Badgley (Dan)

6. Taylor Momsen (Jenny)

We got to Broome & Wooster, and the crowd was surprisingly non-existent. There were a few women, maybe about ten, in their mid- to late-twenties just hanging outside of the trailers waiting to get a glimpse of someone.

Old Guy and I didn’t feel comfortable waiting with them – Old Guy didn’t feel comfortable waiting at all; in fact, his embarrassment and regret for coming was quite palpable – so we waited at the corner speculating about the activities of PA’s and other non-acting employees of film/TV shoots.

After about 10-15 minutes, we suddenly saw the group of women walking on the street with cameras in picture-taking mode. It took us a couple of seconds, but we finally recognized the center of attention. It was Blake Lively.

She’s definitely as tall as she appears on television. She’s also very pretty in person. But while I was being enchanted by her visage and flowing blonde locks, Old Guy was busy critiquing her ass. I believe his comment was something along the lines of “Whoa! She’s got a big ass.”

Predictably, my eyes darted immediately to her booty. I must agree with Old Guy. For a tall skinny girl, her ass was somewhat large. Now, I’m not saying it was ghetto booty ala J. Lo or BeyoncĂ©, but it was definitely wider/bigger than is to be expected. I found it fairly intriguing.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

MTV Does It Well

This Music Monday, I give you “Doin’ It” by LL Cool J because, overall, MTV did the VMA’s well. Here are some thoughts from the show:

Britney gave the same speech twice. She’s thankful to God and her beautiful family…and seems likes she’s on drugs.

They need to show the performances where Travis and DJ AM collaborated with guest artists during the commercial breaks. I particularly liked Katy Perry. I didn’t realize she was so attractive, and I enjoyed her rendition of “Like A Virgin.” And the outfit she wore while performing.

Ashlee Simpson looks like a whale. I realize she’s pregnant, but still.

I am extremely angry that there wasn’t an America’s Best Dance Crew performance. I thought that was the whole point of doing the Battle for the VMA’s episode. I figured the winner would get to perform. Such a huge letdown.

I saw a Doublemint commercial where Chris Brown repurposed his song, “Forever.” Ridiculous. Not cool.

Slipknot is scary as hell. I can’t believe they actually brought out McLovin. How long before we see a DUI story about him in the news?

Jamie Foxx needs to calm down. He’s there to present an award, not give a 5 minute monologue.

Christina Aguilera’s performance was really good. I like the flashback to “Genie in a Bottle.”

And Pink and Kid Rock performances? It’s like I’m back in high school.

Vanessa Hudgens is pretty hot.

Lauren actually looked really good. (If you’re wondering why I haven’t blogged about the new season of The Hills, it’s because I haven’t watched it yet. I’ve recorded all the episodes, so I’ll catch up soon and write a blog on it.)

Was the person giving the acceptance speech for Tokio Hotel a guy or a girl?

Tonight was my first Jonas Brothers experience. And I have to say, they suck. A lot.

Kanye West gave a great performance, but it was definitely overshadowed by his sick suit. I want one.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

So Much Drama In Da Club

I spent Monday and Tuesday watching all the drama on The CW: Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and 90210. Here are my thoughts on the season premieres of each show.

Gossip Girl

OMFG. XOXO. Chuck Bass is awesome.

One Tree Hill

I used to like this show…when it took place in high school. I will give it credit for skipping the college years. We all remember the train wrecks that were Saved by the Bell: The College Years and Dawson’s Creek (the college years).

I stopped watching this show after the 2nd or 3rd season. I can’t recall anymore. The only reason I watched Monday’s episode was because the commercials completely suckered me. I had to know who Lucas would pick to marry—Brooke, Peyton or that other random chick I’ve never seen before.

Deep down, I wanted him to pick Peyton. I always loved Hilarie Burton, even back to the days when she was VJing on MTV. Other than Blake Lively, she’s the only blonde I’ve ever loved.

For entertainment purposes, Brooke would’ve been a good choice. Let’s not forget that back in 2005, Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush were married for about five months before separating. I find it amazing that they still work together, and it would’ve been interesting if they frequently had to perform affectionate husband/wife scenes together.

Who is that other random chick I’ve never seen before? She isn’t even attractive.

Overall, the show was pretty bad. I probably won’t watch another episode.


I’m going to start by saying that I never really watched the original show, so I can’t give any comparisons between the old and the new. What I can do is tell you that Shannen Doherty’s face is whack.

Other random observations:

- Annie and Silver are anorexic. It’s actually pretty disgusting.

- Rob Estes is awesome.

- Jennie Garth is definitely a bit thicker now, but at least her face isn’t whack like Shannen Doherty’s. In any case, I’ll always respect her for being married to Peter Facinelli, who is most famous for playing the role of Mike Dexter in Can’t Hardly Wait. “Aman-duh!”

The writing and storylines were fairly poor. There were a lot of gaps. For example:

- What happened to Annie over the paper cheating issue with Naomi? They never showed her hashing it out with her dad, and they never followed up on her punishment for sneaking out of the house to attend Naomi’s party.

- There was the whole pig prank/suspension issue. Only three of the lacrosse players got suspended, but there were others who took part. From what I gathered, the point of that part of the episode was to demonstrate the bonds and camaraderie of being on a team. There was a big emphasis on unity and sticking together. What happened to the other guys that took part in the prank? Shouldn’t they have stepped up as well? And since they didn’t, shouldn’t the three guys who did step up to take the fall be angry with them for not sticking together?

Having said all that, overall, the show was still mediocre at best. I would place it somewhere between One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl. The drama and drama-potential for future episodes was just interesting enough for me to watch, but the show still lacks that little something that’ll get me excited for each episode. I’ll keep tuning in for now, but I’ll reassess my stance in a few weeks.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Fresh Seasons

Happy Labor Day! It's a bittersweet day. Tonight is the season 2 premiere of Gossip Girl (OMFG), but today also signals the unofficial end of summer (sadness).

To ring in the month and autumn, I'm bringing you a true classic - "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire.

The first time I heard about Earth, Wind & Fire was on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. On the very first episode, Uncle Phil introduces him to the partners at his law firm, Firth, Wynn and Meyer. Will greets them by saying, "Yo. Earth, Wind & Fire. When's your next record coming out?" I thought it was hilarious.