Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Grooming

Sent Text

I just got a mani pedi and am about to get my eyebrows threaded. Its so awesome

The Sender

The Dirty Burrito

Replies

The Little Taquito: why are you such a woman? Are you by yourself?

Hottest Guy on Campus: I love threading, not as much as you love gay sex tho

Chunky Salsa: Words can’t begin to describe the gayness of that text

Roomate #2: You should also get you vag waxed while you’Re at it.

The Homewrecker: U t so metro

The only people that seemed to understand were The Homewrecker and The Little Taquito. After I told my sister that I was not by myself, but rather with two girls, she said: oh okay just checkin. I was gonna say, that’s a little odd if you were alone.

Apparently, it’s fine for her big brother to get a manicure, pedicure and his eyebrows threaded as long as he goes with two girls. Thanks, sis!

At this point you might be asking yourself, “Why the hell did he do all of that stuff?” I’m not completely sure but peer pressure combined with boredom may have had something to do with it. And a bit of alcohol.

I had taken a summer Friday and was hanging with the HJ and Schwalms. We were drinking overpriced sangria, and they asked me if I wanted to get a mani/pedi with them. I was a little hesitant at first, but then the Schwalms said I could probably blog about it. That’s all the convincing I needed. I was in.

We rolled into the nail salon—two Korean girls and a Mexican guy. The girls were right at home. Me? I just stood around watching them pick out nail polish. I had no idea what to do. I felt like it was my first day of school in The Americas. (What a horrific experience. I was 5-years-old, and I had no idea how to interact with all the white people. I didn’t know what to call the teacher, so I straight up called her “Teacher” for like an entire week. Bad memories. I just wanted to hop on my boat and row back across the Pacific.)

Anyway, this experience turned out to be much better. It was so relaxing. They cleaned up my nails and even applied a clear coat of polish at the end. I’m still not sure about the clear coat thoughpeople seem to notice because the light reflects off of my nails. The girls probably just told me to get it to mess with me.

Later on, the HJ and I hooked up with our other friends, the Rainmaker and the Magic Mic to do the eyebrow threading. Schwalms didn’t join the fun because she had to hold hands with her boyfriend. (“Hold hands” isn’t code for anything. They really did have to hold hands.)

Aside from avoiding traffic on my bike on Park Avenue and the Herald Square area, the threading was probably the scariest part of my day. I was concerned that I’d look like a female. Also, I thought it would hurt.

Luckily, I didn’t end up looking like a female. The procedure did sting a little though. The whole thing only took about five minutes, but threading is like a mass plucking of hair. I teared up in my right eye at the end of it.

Despite the slight pain, I was satisfied with the end result. I think threading is a good way to keep away the unibrow. Nobody likes the unibrow.

Overall, the entire grooming experience was pretty enjoyable. I’ll probably never get the mani/pedi again, but I’m glad I crossed it off my list of random things to do before I die. I’ll probably go back for the eyebrow threading. Again, nobody likes the unibrow.

1 comment:

  1. no pictures of the threaded eyebrows???
    next time get your brows waxed. haha.

    got your email about your blog. but if you must know, i always check in. i even posted a link from my multiply

    ReplyDelete