Tuesday, July 29, 2008
This has been bugging me for years. I wish I could put an end to it, but it's going to keep on going much like "same difference," "anyways" and "could care less." Ugghhhh.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Like pretty much everyone else, I though UB40 was a Jamaican reggae band—Bob Marley-esque, if you will. It wasn't until I saw the video and some sort of VH1 Top 100 songs of the 80s list that I found out they were actually a white British reggae band.
On a somewhat related note, I met another person who incorrectly guessed my nationality. Here is the conversation that transpired:
Asian Girl: So where are you from?
The Dirty Burrito: The
AG: (Puzzled look on her face) Oooh. I would’ve thought you were from somewhere else.
TDB: (With a slight, knowing grin) Oh yeah? Where did you think I was from?
AG: Somewhere in
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I just got a mani pedi and am about to get my eyebrows threaded. Its so awesome
The Dirty Burrito
The Little Taquito: why are you such a woman? Are you by yourself?
Hottest Guy on Campus: I love threading, not as much as you love gay sex tho
Chunky Salsa: Words can’t begin to describe the gayness of that text
Roomate #2: You should also get you vag waxed while you’Re at it.
The Homewrecker: U t so metro
The only people that seemed to understand were The Homewrecker and The Little Taquito. After I told my sister that I was not by myself, but rather with two girls, she said: oh okay just checkin. I was gonna say, that’s a little odd if you were alone.
Apparently, it’s fine for her big brother to get a manicure, pedicure and his eyebrows threaded as long as he goes with two girls. Thanks, sis!
At this point you might be asking yourself, “Why the hell did he do all of that stuff?” I’m not completely sure but peer pressure combined with boredom may have had something to do with it. And a bit of alcohol.
I had taken a summer Friday and was hanging with the HJ and Schwalms. We were drinking overpriced sangria, and they asked me if I wanted to get a mani/pedi with them. I was a little hesitant at first, but then the Schwalms said I could probably blog about it. That’s all the convincing I needed. I was in.
We rolled into the nail salon—two Korean girls and a Mexican guy. The girls were right at home. Me? I just stood around watching them pick out nail polish. I had no idea what to do. I felt like it was my first day of school in The Americas. (What a horrific experience. I was 5-years-old, and I had no idea how to interact with all the white people. I didn’t know what to call the teacher, so I straight up called her “Teacher” for like an entire week. Bad memories. I just wanted to hop on my boat and row back across the Pacific.)
Anyway, this experience turned out to be much better. It was so relaxing. They cleaned up my nails and even applied a clear coat of polish at the end. I’m still not sure about the clear coat though—people seem to notice because the light reflects off of my nails. The girls probably just told me to get it to mess with me.
Later on, the HJ and I hooked up with our other friends, the Rainmaker and the Magic Mic to do the eyebrow threading. Schwalms didn’t join the fun because she had to hold hands with her boyfriend. (“Hold hands” isn’t code for anything. They really did have to hold hands.)
Aside from avoiding traffic on my bike on
Luckily, I didn’t end up looking like a female. The procedure did sting a little though. The whole thing only took about five minutes, but threading is like a mass plucking of hair. I teared up in my right eye at the end of it.
Despite the slight pain, I was satisfied with the end result. I think threading is a good way to keep away the unibrow. Nobody likes the unibrow.
Overall, the entire grooming experience was pretty enjoyable. I’ll probably never get the mani/pedi again, but I’m glad I crossed it off my list of random things to do before I die. I’ll probably go back for the eyebrow threading. Again, nobody likes the unibrow.
I am inclined to agree. Everyone knows that those little hats aren't used for juicing. They're used to shield our faces from the sun while we gather rice. Shame on you, Pinkberry. Shame on you.
(Side note: You'll also notice the hat on the yellow juicer in the back right looks like a sombrero. Since when do Asians not named The Dirty Burrito wear sombreros?)
Shoutout to the Nasty for the link. Her keen awareness for The Dirty Burrito material allowed me to educate you in proper usage of Asian headgear.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I promise you deeply that it ain’t crap
Nintendo Wii, XBOX 360 and PS3
When I get drunk sometimes I lose my house key
Love the movie Swingers with Vince Vaughn
I hope you watch this video with the lights on
Friday, July 18, 2008
In case something happens to me, I hereby leave The Dirty Burrito to the Hottest Guy on Campus.
His response to the great news: "fuck man thats incredible. i'm truly honored." As you can see, his grammar and punctuation standards are not as high as mine. However, his enthusiasm, much like his hotness (I'm talking to you, Larin), is unparalleled. I'll be damned if an unattractive, unenthusiastic person ever gets his/her hands on this blog.
Should my liver fail this weekend, he’ll be the only person who can truly carry on the spirit of The Dirty Burrito. If I do happen to make it through the next three days, then get prepared for another Music Monday!
Monday, July 14, 2008
In honor of this break-up summer, I give you “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison. You may have been too captivated by the fly beat to pay attention previously, but listen to the lyrics. It’s a song about heartbreak and moving on. And you can dance to it.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
It’s a bit crazy to think what the blog was like three years ago. When The Dirty Burrito first started, the only way people knew about the blog was either through sporadic mass E-mails I sent out for posts I really liked, or clicking on the link in my AIM profile. The Hottest Guy on Campus and The Homewrecker eventually joined the action with links in their AIM profiles, but other than that, I really depended on people telling friends, neighbors, teammates, etc.
Nowadays, I don’t even use AIM. I just post notes on Facebook and bulletins on MySpace. I’m so successful that I dished out the $10 for the rights to www.thedirtyburrito.com.
To celebrate my birthday, I’m listing twelve fan favorites from the past three years. Why twelve? I have no idea. But I remember getting a lot of reaction from these posts, so I just want to throw them out there just in case some newer readers want to check some of the classics. (Also, the picture is from my very first post. I’m not linking to it because it was terrible to the point that I can’t believe people actually kept reading me. And if you are wondering, that is actually me at the fresh, young age of 21.)
In chronological order:
I must admit that I’ve been slacking and haven’t been watching my grammar as well lately. Oh well.
Not only is he
One of the best concert’s ever. I love boy bands.
My modeling debut. If you’re not a Zoolander fan, you won’t like this one…and also, don’t bother being my friend.
My acting debut. I can’t believe I didn’t parlay this experience into a career.
Check out my review and predictions from the very first episode.
I went to a gay night club. It was fun.
A foreigner’s thoughts on bread-like muffins or muffin-like bread.
I weigh in on the first season on my favorite show’s move to
If you didn’t grow up in
How long until Jamie Lynn gets hot again…and turns 18?
I literally researched “wodie” for about 10 minutes to make sure I was using it properly and that it wasn’t a racial slur. “Holla back,” on the other hand, I knew how to use because of Gwen Stefani.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Most people associate The Human League with their 1981 classic, “Don’t You Want Me.” It’s certainly one of the defining hits of the 80s, and you’ve undoubtedly danced to it at some point in your life. I, however, prefer their later hit, “Human.”
It’s a simple, yet powerful song about long-distance lovers asking one another forgiveness for their unfaithfulness. The man realizes he made a mistake—he decides to tell his woman about his actions and sincerely begs for her forgiveness. The woman throws a curveball and essentially says, “I screwed around too.” Oh snap!
I really like the conversational nature of the song—it’s almost like a scene from a musical. A musical about people in deep thought over splashing water and waterfalls.