Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Thoughts on Real World: Hollywood

I haven’t watched a full season of Real World since Seattle. I would estimate that I haven’t watched more than four episodes in any of the subsequent seasons. I actually wrote about this back in September…of 2005. (I can’t believe this blog is almost three years old!)

In any case, I’m going to attempt to watch the Hollywood installment for two reasons.

Reason #1: My Swedish former roommate requested that I blog about it. I originally turned him down for all the reasons I outlined in that old September blog, but…

Reason #2: My older and much more mature Caucasian roommate (he’s turning 28 and that is so old), who doesn’t normally watch such shows and sticks to doing sophisticated & intellectual things such as study for law school, clerk for judges and read the New Yorker, recommended it to me at dinner.

I don’t normally take the advice of two white people, but since one is Swedish and the other is going to make 3 times my salary when he graduates next May, I was willing to give it a shot. Below are my random thoughts from the first episode:

- Joey only eats water, tuna, eggs, protein drinks, fruits & veggies, oatmeal and eggs. He also has very strong Midwest accent. If he doesn’t make it as an actor, he should go on tour with the “My New Haircut” guy. It could become the NY-Chicago Guido tour for the ages.

- Kimberly represents the failing ambitions of America. I wouldn’t trust someone whose grand goal in life is to be an E! News entertainment reporter and thinks she’ll get there because she reads US Weekly & PopSugar religiously. I have a feeling she’ll just end up on the next Gauntlet or Inferno. Also, I can’t take that Southern drawl.

- Dave is so awesome at everything he does—baseball, surfing, street luge, bangin’hoes—you know, the usual.

- Whoa! What innovative music choices! It was very original for them to play songs about California. The fact that the songs all mention the name of the state and the awesome weather really made me feel like I was there. The only things that were missing were songs with references to the 405 or the 101. That would’ve allowed me to visualize myself driving by the sun-soaked ocean under a clear blue sky and really would’ve completed my experience.

- Sarah is a huge overachiever. She is your typical wide-eyed recent college graduate with positive views of the actual real world. I’m totally attracted to her. The Dirty Burrito has a great appreciation for dark-haired females. The minor in Women’s Studies scares me a bit, but I’m thinking she just took it to pad her overachieving résumé. Her boyfriend—all I have to say about him is that I don’t take threats seriously from any guy that majored in Women’s Studies. If he had majored in Economics like me, I might be wowed with his mastery of interest rates and trade deficits. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to say he’s just deadweight loss. (Econ joke! LOL!)

- Will pronounces Deeetroit like a true Detroiter. He’s definitely legit though. The only thing more real than a black guy breakdancing is an Asian guy breakdancing. I’m glad he broke down what producing music actually entails. Most people just say they produce and have no idea what that means, so you they’re faking. I think Will has a decent shot of being successful. He even understands the concept of working your way up from the bottom.

- Bri definitely fits the typical stripper MO—abusive boyfriend, fiery temper & outstanding arrest warrant.

- Joey had a huge orgasm about the gym. He also threw in a nice promotional mention of the Bowflex® Selecttech® dumbbells. It was almost seamless.

- Kimberly: “I don’t know anything about Detroit other than being some inner city scary area.” No comment.

- Greg deserves an award for introducing “Associates” and “Peasants” into our lexicon. If he keeps up his mastery of those words, they could soon join “Dunzo” and “Relationship Vacation” in the MTV Vocabulary Hall of Fame.

- Note to self: Take Will’s advice and tell girls you have a kindergarten crush on them. (I didn’t actually have a kindergarten crush, or even a 1st grade crush. I was too busy acclimating myself with life in The Americas. Life is a bitch without maids and nannies. However, I was able to adapt, and I was good to go by 2nd grade. I definitely had a 2nd grade crush. And yes, she had dark brown hair.)

- Great quote from Sarah the Overachiever: “If there’s sexual tension, it might be the thing that makes it more than just tension.” Profound…

- Will needs to layoff Sarah or else her Women’s Studies boyfriend is going to make good on his lame, awkwardly delivered threat to kick ass. I wonder how many times he practiced that before filming it.

- I’ve finally figure out the mystery of what happened to my “I Heart Soccer Moms t-shirt. .Joey the meathead stole it and desecrated it by removing the sleeves and cutting a slit at the collar. I’ll just add this to my list of reasons why I don’t like Chicago.

- “I am Greg, and I am Perfection. I am not affected by these Peasants.” I beg to differ. He had to call his mommy because the Peasants were talking behind his back.

1 comment:

  1. one of rillo's frat brothers is a friend of Will's....He was actually on the show a couple of weeks ago. Pretty entertaining