Thursday, February 21, 2008

A Freckled Treasure

This Sunday, I was taking a break from my constant playing of Guitar Hero by watching Terminator 2. (Side Note: T2 was airing on AMC, and deservedly so. The special effects still hold up even 17 years after it first played in theatres. Also, watching the Governator spit lines such as, “My CPU is a neural net processor, a learning computer. The more contact I have with humans, the more I learn” is a great source of laughter. And why did an advanced killer cyborg from the future have an Austrian accent?) I was also simultaneously surfing the Web and found a link pointing to nude pictures of Lindsay Lohan in New York magazine. My first thought was “NO F%CKING WAY,” so I immediately clicked on the link to see if it was true.

Not surprisingly, it took about 15 minutes just for the first page of the slideshow to load. It took about another 10 minutes just for me to get to the second slide. At that point, I gave up and decided to wait until the traffic subsided. I think everyone was trying to access those photos on Sunday afternoon. (And, according to, Monday and Tuesday as well: “For a site that's averaged around a million page views a day lately… recorded a total of more than 40 million page views Monday and Tuesday, more than 34 million of which came from the Lohan portfolio.”)

I was finally able to access the slideshow in a decent amount of time on Sunday evening. I was going through the photos, and then it happened…Lindsay Lohan’s breasts finally revealed themselves to me. My first thought upon seeing the side angle shot: “NO F%CKING WAY!”

The release of these photos is definitely a pivotal moment in the history of man. Ever since Lindsay debuted her chest’s potential in the highly entertaining Mean Girls, she has been teasing us with pictures like this and this.

I must say that the spread was done elegantly. I think we had all expected her to pose in Hustler at least five years down the road when she was severely used up, out of rehab for the tenth time and desperate for cash. Now, she surprises us by remaking a classic shoot of an American icon after she’s only moderately used up, been through rehab only a couple of times and supposedly even posed free of charge.

With all the positive vibe created by this great photo spread, let us take some time to remember there was a loser—the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. After years of not mattering whatsoever, this year’s issue actually got some attention during its release last week. It had a fairly well-organized Web presence and chose a gorgeous cover model. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone is purchasing the Swimsuit Issue over New York magazine.

1 comment:

  1. i wouldnt touch her with the dirty burrito's burrito