Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Spears Family Gets Hit with Baby One More Time

Last night it was confirmed that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, holder of the most anticipated 18th birthday since the Olson twins, is pregnant. The father is her longtime boyfriend, Casey Aldridge. They supposedly met at church, which goes to show that church is a great place to meet girls.

I need to know this guy’s age. Is he over 18? If so, can someone charge him with statutory? Also, I wonder if this Casey guy can live up to his counterpart, K-Fed, who Details recently named the one of the most powerful men under the age of 45 for being a good father.

I think my favorite part of this story is Lynne Spears’ quote in the Associated Press story:

"I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby."

There was obviously nothing to worry about since she made curfew every night. Did her mom really think the only time Jamie Lynn and her boyfriend could have sex was late at night after curfew?

Why wasn’t Jamie Lynn on the pill? Didn’t she have some close advisors to give her this kind of guidance? When you’re 16 and have a hit show on Nickelodeon, you should do everything in your power not to screw it up. This isn’t the Nickelodeon of my childhood where the best shows were low budget productions like Hey Dude!, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Welcome Freshmen and Salute Your Shorts. This is 21st century Nickelodeon where a hit show leads to a multi-million dollar career.

The least she could’ve done before getting pregnant by some sleazebag was to pose for Maxim when she turned 18 and crank out some mediocre films where she shakes her ass (See Alba, Jessica in Honey, Sin City, Fantastic Four and Into the Blue). Now, she’s probably just going to end up like Solange Knowles. Who is that? Exactly.

The Spears family would just be another white trash family from a trailer park in La. Luckily, Britney and Jamie Lynn hit the big time, so the Spears could afford to be a white trash family living in mansions in L.A.

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