For the past two weeks, someone has gotten the great idea to steal one of my bananas. I’ll eat three bananas and save at various points during the week and save my fourth banana for Friday morning breakfast. The last two Fridays, I peer into the butter holder only to see my last banana missing. I search the entire fridge to see if it’s been relocated. But why would anyone relocate my banana? It’s not like anyone keeps butter at work.
I’m only going to buy bananas two at a time now. I hope this banana thief will stop being cheap and dish out the $.25 for his/her own banana.
Last night, I did my laundry. I was finishing up my dinner, so I showed up about ten minutes after the dryer had finished to retrieve my clothes. I go to my dryer only to see that a different load is in there. I’m confused as hell.
A husky lesbian wearing camouflage pants sees the look of disbelief on my face and says, “Were your clothes in that dryer? I put them in that cart. Sorry.”
I just gave her this look of disgust and anger. Why the hell would you take my clothes out of the dryer? Yes, I was ten minutes late, and if someone is late and all the dryers are taken, then you have every right to move someone’s clothing. However, there were five—FIVE—other open dryers! And they were all operational!