Thursday, August 23, 2007

BFing Has Ruined Our Sex Life

I know what you were thinking, but please read on.

Even though I now work on a coffee account, I was asked to help out with some research for another account’s baby products presentation. I had to research pacifiers, baby bottles, sippy cups and breastfeeding systems. I know—scintillating!

I browsed numerous parenting and baby Web sites, and I hit the message boards. One site forced me to register and answer a questionnaire, so I’m a 30-34 year old, home-owning, married mother of two with a $90K-99K income, who reads Baby Talk and plans to buy a digital camera this year. I also happen to be a full-time working professional, so I’ll be able to afford this digital camera to capture the first precious moments of my children.

I learned many things: the pain of breastfeeding, the advantages of a double electric pump, potential for nipple confusion and bling is in (plastic rhinestones on pacifiers—probably a logical precursor for a platinum grill.)

This morning, I came across this message board post, which made all my research worth the effort. I found it highly entertaining for both the title and content.

BFing has ruined our sex life

I don't know where else to turn to but you guys for this one. DH & I have been married 7 years and our SF is our first. But after delaying sex for about 3 months PP b/c I was healing from some serious stiches, plus having horribly sore breasts/nipples from BFing, plus all the hormones in general, our sex life has gone down the drain, and consequently our relationship is dwindling, too. But here's the biggest problems: DH finds BFing a turn on. He's never wanted me more, especially my breasts. I find that the biggest turn off, and even more than that, it disgusts me that he likes to see our SF nursing and that he talks about "needing nourishment" himself and wants to suck on them. It's to the point where I've told him my breasts are off limits b/c I now feel so violated whenever he touches them. Yet he still does it, claiming he can't help himself. I've gone so far as to tell him he might as well be raping me b/c that's what it feels like to me. So he tries to not touch them, but he still pretends to grab at them and also complains nonstop about how he's being deprived. I'm not even attracted to him anymore. Now I know this post makes DH sound like a monster, but he really isn't. He is actually very kind and soft spoken and we've never had any serious marital issues. I just don't know how to make him understand exactly how I feel about it and it's making me extremely upset that he's so stupid & selfish he doesn't see that I'm being serious about all of it, he thinks I'm joking around or something & that I really would like it if I just let him have them. Please offer any advice that you can, TIA. [Link]

1 comment:

  1. That was great!
    What does SF stand for?