Thursday, December 21, 2006


For my 100th post, I provide you with something simple, yet grand. I just found the new trailer for the Transformers movie. Me so horny. Click the original Autobots logo for some viewing pleasure.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Job Hopping

I’ve officially been at my job for six months now. This is a big milestone for me. As many of you know, I’m a habitual job changer.

My work career started shortly after I received my driver’s license. At the time, I was still getting an allowance, though I don’t remember the exact amount. I imagine it was about $20 per week because when my dad asked me to find a job, I was content with doing the exact opposite and not trying at all. They also provided me with a Mobile Speedpass, so I could gas up my 1992 black Dodge Daytona hatchback with sunroof, power windows, and power seating.

After about 2-3 weeks of stalling and fabricating excuses for not finding a job, my dad walked down to the basement, where I was watching TV, and bluntly told me, “You better find a job because I’m cutting you off.” Then, he just turned around and walked away before I could give even respond or complain. And that pivotal moment forced me to join the workforce. (Please note that even though my parents stopped my allowance, they still paid for the gasoline, which cost about $1.10 per gallon at the time.)

From the time I was 16 through the age of 21, when I graduated college, I had 9 part-time jobs. I worked at Home Bakery, BD’s Mongolian Barbecue, Steve & Barry’s, Michigan Book & Supply, Michigan Telefund, U of M Recsports, Godiva, the Michigan Daily, and Ann Arbor Learning Community. Keep in mind, this was all in addition to my freelance work as a test participant for the Psychology department. I couldn’t stay away from the $10/hour and the bonus money for doing really well on their tests.

There was a very lucrative pain study, which I didn’t have the courage to complete. Basically they were going to pay me $1000 for a four part test. I’d get some kind of brain scam—CT, PET, etc. I’m not really sure which one, but they’d pay me $250 for it. I would return so they could wire me up, and then inject my jaw with saline. This was another $250. They’d scan my brain once more for another $250. I think the last part was some sort of evaluation, for which they’d pay my last $250. Even though they told us that people who’d previously done the study didn’t think the pain was that bad, the prospect of injecting my jaw with saline just wasn’t that appealing.

After college, I worked for Target Corporation in Minneapolis. No offense to my friends from Minneapolis, but Target sucked and so did Minneapolis. It even disgusts me that I have to mention Minneapolis four times in this paragraph. From day 1, I had apprehensions about the job. I completely did not fit in with that corporate culture, nor was I even good at merchandising. Unmemorable city + miserable job = me quitting after four months.

While I was still in that city that I no longer wish to name, I made the decision to move to the Philippines for four months from December-April. My uncle had just opened his own ad agency, and he told me I could intern. Obviously, I jumped at this opportunity. Why wouldn’t I want to return to The Island for four months, see my family, eat tons of delicious food, and get some work experience? It was a no-brainer.

Though I wanted to stay longer, I had to return home. The GF was waiting for me (I think), and my mother called me about five times during my last two weeks to make sure I was still coming home. She knew I was having the time of my life and was scared I wouldn’t come back.

After searching for jobs at home and making a one week excursion to NY to look for jobs, I realized that moving to NYC would be my best bet to find a job. So, to my parents’ and friends’ complete surprise, I decided I was moving to NY. I packed up two suitcases and moved within two weeks of my decision. I eventually found a job at DRAFTFCB.

Everything about working here has been great so far. I don’t think about looking for a new job that often. Money could definitely be better elsewhere, but I feel good about staying here long enough so I can put something on my resume that I don’t have a BS excuse prepared for when an interviewer asks why I was at a job for such a short period of time.

Hopefully, I don’t jinx myself and get fired next week. I would at least love to make it to 2007.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Back for the Holidays

One of my most loyal readers, Boris Boots, has been checking The Dirty Burrito everyday since my last post. Unfortunately, that last post went up before Thanksgiving. Boris threatened to stop reading The Dirty Burrito, so I promised him a holiday-themed post before 6PM today. It’s the loyal readers like Boris Boots that make it a pleasure to get off my butt on my day off and write for you lovely people. (Side Note: I’ve never met Boris Boots. I don’t even know what he looks like, or from where he originates. I only know that Boris Boots is not his real name, he is a friend of my friends, and he loves checks my blog everyday.)

With all the holiday music I hear in stores and the radio and all the decorations I see on the street, I can’t help but think of my favorite Christmas movies and songs. Today, I will give you my favorite Christmas movies and songs.


1) Love Actually

I know what you’re thinking. “That’s a chick movie.” “Is he gay?”

No. I am not gay, but you are probably correct in your categorization of Love Actually as a chick movie—there were several romantic storylines. However, this movie was thoroughly enjoyable.

For starters, it had an All-Star cast that included the likes of Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, Keira Knightley, and a cameo by the legendary Billy Bob Thornton. (Why is Billy Bob Thornton legendary? He slept with Angelina Jolie for an extended period of time. And, to my recollection, none of us can claim that feat.)

You’re an asshole if you weren’t rooting for that young boy to succeed at learning drums so he could play for his crush during the Christmas talent show. Also, I found the secretary, who was pursued by Hugh Grant, to be pretty cute. Colin Firth playing his classic Colin Firth role of a loveable, self-conscious idiot was genius. Lastly, who could forget the scene with Hugh Grant dancing to “Jump” by the Pointer Sisters?

2) Elf


3) Home Alone

Not only did this movie make me want to come up with contraptions to stop potential criminals in my house, but it also reminds me of the first time my mother warned me about the dangers of Playboy.

You probably remember the scene where Kevin first realizes he’s been left home alone, and he’s going through all of Buzz’s stuff. He finds a Playboy and is awed at the sights on the inside pages. I was around 8 years old when I first saw Home Alone, so I had no idea what Playboy was, nor should any 8 year old know what it is. In any case, my mother, being protective of her baby, her first born, took this opportunity to tell me that I should never look at a Playboy. As any inquisitive child told not to do something, I asked, “Why?” She responded with something along the lines of “It’s bad. It’s not a nice magazine.”

At that point I dropped the subject and continued watching the movie as I admired how he set up all the mannequins to make it look like there was a party going on in the house. I wish I were that clever in my youth.


1) “Last Christmas” by George Michael

Just because George Michael gets caught lewd acts in Los Angeles park bathrooms, it doesn’t mean that he does not have a superb voice.

2) “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey

Vintage Mariah on fire. She was a very close 2nd to the lead singer of Wham! This song also was heavily featured in my favorite Christmas movie, Love Actually.

3) “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” by Alvin & the Chipmunks

Who knew chipmunks could hit such high notes?

I have some ideas for a few December posts. I swear I won’t leave you hanging for another 18 days.