Saturday, November 18, 2006

I Hate OSU

OSU sucks. I hate them.

P.S. I'm semi-intoxicated and have Photoshop.

Go Blue!

I could barely sleep last night. The anticipation for the UM-OSU game was too much for me to handle. I felt like a kid, who couldn't sleep the morning before Christmas, because he couldn't wait to open presents.

I went to the gym this morning with my blue Michigan cut-off and my maize soccer shorts. Another Asian guy walked in 20 minutes later with his maize football shirt and blue basketball shorts.

Hopefully, Bo's words will ring true: "Those who stay will be champions." I can't wait.

I'll be at Professor Thom's. Where will you be?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Thanksgiving and Me

As many of you know, I’m not a native of The Americas. I actually came from The Island. I moved to Michigan when I was 5-years-old, around December of 1988. My mother, brother, and I never celebrated a Thanksgiving. Luckily, my dad had actually spent a couple years in Ohio in his youth because my grandfather completed his grad studies at The Crappy Ohio State University, so he most likely celebrated a Thanksgiving or two. I’m fairly certain he introduced us to this great American tradition.

Basically, I’ve never had any close connection to Thanksgiving. I drew cornucopias and pilgrims in grade school just because the teachers told us to do it, and I always did what my teachers told me. Not surprisingly, this is also the reason I received good grades and had no friends.

We would make Native American headdresses out of construction paper and macaroni jewelry in school. Looking back, this was hugely insulting. If you were a Native American, how would you feel if a bunch of white kids (who stole your land) and a sprinkling of other minorities made crappy mock-ups of accessories that you hold very sacred? And to top it all off, they did it to celebrate a holiday to commemorate how you and them became “friends” and “gave thanks.”

Speaking of giving thanks, I always hated Thanksgiving movies where families would give thanks. These movies have a family or group of friends that somehow get into some ridiculous argument and nobody is talking. Then, everyone makes up in time for Thanksgiving dinner because they realize how lucky they are to have each other. To make it really heart-warming, they hold hands in prayer and go around in a circle saying something about how thankful they are for something really cheesy.

My question with that giving thanks scene is, “Does that really happen?” I’m serious. If anyone can shed light on this subject, I’d like to know if this is just a Hollywood creation or if American families really do this. Please, please let me know.

I remember in 3rd grade, we baked some “homemade” corn bread. The teachers said it was homemade, but I bet it came from a box. How are 100 3rd graders supposed to make homemade corn bread? Also, I was a bit confused about corn bread. It looked like a muffin, but didn’t taste like a muffin. And it was called bread, but didn’t quite taste like bread. It was weird, but tasty.

The term “homemade” was one of those things that baffled me as a child. Kids would come to school and brag about their “homemade” cookies. I never got what was so good about “homemade” stuff. Sure, they were good; but I was, and still am, quite satisfied with a bag of Chips Ahoy. I can easily finish a bag in 4 hours and feel good about myself. I think the reason I was confused about “homemade” is because Filipinos never bake anything. We buy Chips Ahoy if we want cookies. (Back in the day it was only Original or Chewy; I praise the heavens for all the Chunky varieties.) I also don’t ever recall seeing anyone eat a muffin as a child. In fact, when I was there for my 4 month advertising stint, I didn’t see anyone eat a muffin.

Normally, a family friend will have a Thanksgiving party and everyone will come over. No one wanted to take on the task of hosting a minimum of 20 people this year, so my mom is cooking. She called me this past Sunday to ask if I wanted turkey. I gave a resounding, “NO!”

I definitely said, “I don’t want turkey or any of that crap. Just make a whole bunch of Filipino food and give me some rice.”

She just started laughing and said, “Oh my God! You’re brother said the exact same thing.”

I said, “Yeah. We don’t want that crap. We’re only home once in awhile, and we want something tasty. I need rice.”

To summarize my ramblings, cornbread confused the hell out of me, I still don’t know if people actually do the “give thanks” ritual, Native Americans should be up in arms over the celebration of Thanksgiving, and I love rice. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I get to eat a lot of food. I hope you all eat as well as I will on Thursday.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Only in Cabo...

It’s that time of the year again—the Laguna Beach spring break in Cabo episode!!! The name of the episode was “Only in Cabo…” As much as I love Cabo, MTV needs to find a new location just for the sake of creating a new name. I think the “What Happens in Cabo, Stays in Cabo” or “Only in Cabo…” names are getting old. I think they should go to Daytona Beach, Florida. MTV needs to return to its bread & butter. I remember seeing footage of MTV Spring Break in Daytona Beach with hairy-chested dudes and girls with crimped hair rocking out in front of the stage as Jefferson Starship played “We Built This City.” Those were the days. Plus, the name could be something totally new like “What Happens in Daytona, Stays in Daytona.”

There were so many laugh-out-loud moments. It all started with Breanna, the much less attractive, younger sister of the very attractive but devoid of personality, LC. (Side note: I know she now goes by Lauren ever since she stopped filming Laguna Beach, but The Hills sucked so much that I refuse to address her by anything other than LC. She also needs to go back to her bread & butter and start calling herself LC again. Maybe it will improve the quality of the second season of The Hills.) Breanna set a goal of hooking up with D-Rock, and she accomplished it. I’m proud of her.

Speaking of D-Rock, he, to put it in his words, “totally spit mad game” in Cabo. He went on the trip with the goal of hooking up with either Lexie or Breanna. Due to the fact that his friend, Kelan, was trying to creep (their words, not mine) on Lexie, he made the respectable buddy move by stepping aside and letting his buddy have a crack at Lexie while he made out with the equally eager Breanna. That was such a sweet line he threw at Breanna. I believe it was something along the lines of “I want to kiss you but I don’t want you to fell awkward.” This was followed by Breanna lacking complete coyness and saying, “I don’t care.” D-Rock, the spitter of mad game, leaned in for the kiss, and Breanna basically threw her face at him like a bird going for a crumb on the sidewalk. It was true Cabo romance.

What about D-Rock’s boy, Kelan? I felt bad for the poor guy. It seemed completely awkward for everyone involved. It was totally gnarly. (Side note: I’m going to commit to speaking like these people. I love the way they talk. They decided to go back to the same club because it was raging. I’m so amped to use my new vocabulary!) The chemistry between Kelan and Lexie was about as successful as two positively charged particles trying to attach to one another. (Is that even the correct analogy?) All I can say is that Paula Abdul was incorrect. Opposites do not attract. Tortured rocker + ambitious dancer = Kelan yelling to D-Rock, “I just don’t have the fucking balls!” This is followed by D-Rock retorting with, “Do you want me to grow them for you?” Keep in mind this all happened immediately after Breanna and D-Rock made out, and Breanna went to Lexie to try to see if she wanted to hook up with Kelan. Lexie just nodded her head in disgust. There wasn’t even any hesitation. This was all done right in front of Kelan. Poor guy. He’s going to have “I just don’t have the fucking balls” jokes following him for the rest of his life.

Some other highlights from the episode:

§ Cami and her ridiculous sailor hat. What was she thinking? By the way, she looked really skinny. I think she spent the 2 weeks prior to spring break on the elliptical for 2 hours a day, while she fought off her hunger with carrots and celery.

§ Cameron coming up with my 2nd favorite quote of the night: “Cami, your boobs are popping out.” That quote had nothing to do with anything. Cameron wasn’t even in the shot; it was just a voice over. His tone was one of complete appall.

§ I’m convinced Tyler and his buddies are constantly coked out. He hangs out with Jason, who supposedly didn’t graduate from high school and had to go into rehab for a coke addiction. Both always seem strung out, and live off their families’ wealth. What a life.

§ The parents coming along for the trip. That was a complete surprise. I’m guessing that after seeing the first two seasons of unsupervised, MTV-sponsored debauchery, the parents wanted to try and put an end to it. I wonder how it was decided that Kyndra’s and Tyler’s parents would go on the trip. I’m guessing that MTV stipulated in contracts that they had final say on chaperones, and they picked those parents because they were the most oblivious to the drinking, drugs, and sexual escapades of the rager that is the Cabo spring break scene.

I haven’t written about Laguna Beach in awhile. I thought you would enjoy my return to my bread & butter. See you next time.