Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Dirty Burrito Battles Los Angeles: Part I

This past weekend, I took a trip to Los Angeles to visit the Hottest Guy on Campus. I skipped out of work at 3:30, so I could make my 6PM flight at La Guardia. The original plan was to get in around 11PM, speed to the nearest In-N-Out Burger, then get to a bar around midnight. Unfortunately, my flight did not leave NYC until 9PM. I hate flying.

I had an extremely short layover in Chicago. I had enough time to grab a chicken taco from Burrito Beach. I would’ve preferred Cinnabon, but they weren’t open at 10PM. Though Burrito Beach was fairly poor in quality, especially since we were basically using the last of their ingredients, it really hit the spot because I had forgotten to eat all day.

Allow me to explain my situation. The night before, I went partying with the work people for a good 6 hours. Though it was fun, even being called “the mayor of drunk town,” I had planned to go to work early so I could complete my duties before leaving for the airport. Unfortunately, all that drinking prevented me from packing at 1AM. I had to settle for doing it at 7AM. This obviously prevented me from getting to the office at the hour I desired. I ended up arriving at the office at 8:30. As the mayor of drunk town, I accomplished my duty of being the first town member to get to work. In any case, I only had 7 hours to do what normally takes 10 hours. With all the craziness, I forgot to buy my daily coconut doughnut, and I forgot to eat my Special K w/ Fruit & Yogurt. Prior to the late night chicken taco, the only thing I had to eat all day was a sandwich with Doritos. I thought I was going to collapse.

OK, so back to the flight. We waited in the runway queue for about 5 minutes before it was our turn to take off. Midway through our acceleration down the runway, we just start slowing down and veer off onto another path. Apparently, air traffic control thought we were in danger of hitting something. That’s ridiculous. The first thought that crossed my mind was being angry at having to wait in the queue again. The second thought that crossed my mind was disgust at the stupidity of air traffic control. If you had any doubts at all, why would you even let us accelerate down a runway?

And by the way, I forgot my iPod for this hellish excursion. Traveling on a plane without an iPod is a horrendous experience.

After spending 12 hours in airports and airplanes, I finally landed in Los Angeles at 1:30AM PDT. My plan to hit up In-N-Out Burger was destroyed by American Airlines. Luckily for me, HGOC had leftover beef ribs with apple butter. Delicious.

The next morning, HGOC and I ventured to a restaurant called Eggs N Things. We got to the restaurant around 10:30AM on a Friday morning. We were starving and couldn’t wait to eat. When we arrived, we were greeted by a line. A freakin’ line at 10:30AM on a Friday morning. And this wasn’t a line of old retired people. This looked like a Sunday morning crowd, but without kids. Ninety-eight percent of the people in that restaurant should’ve been at work.

I turn to HGOC, “Why is there a line at a restaurant on Friday morning?! Don’t people work?!”

“People don’t work here. It’s ridiculous. Nobody in LA has a job.”

I turned away in disgust.

Luckily, the turnaround on table was quick. We got our booth an ordered. We couldn’t decide what to get, so we shared a Montecristo and Florentine omelette with round potatoes. It was the best American breakfast I’ve ever had. They gave us a crepe (not crape, but crepe) to start. The Montecristo was unreal. It was like a French toast sandwich. It was a sandwich with turkey (real stuff, not coldcuts), ham, tomato, and Swiss, dipped in egg batter and fried to perfection. It was topped with powdered sugar. You spread jam on it and dip it in maple syrup. It was heavenly. The Florentine omellete was also delicious. It had tomato, mushroom, some kind of cheese, and some other stuff, all topped with hollandaise. That was killer. The potatoes were awesome as well. They weren’t greasy diner potatoes. These potatoes were fried just right.

After that, we decided to go to Damon & Pythias (think Cosi) to get cake. Damon & Pythias has my favorite cake in the whole world—the Windmill Cake. I can’t even begin to describe the chocolatey explosion of goodness once that first bite hits my taste buds. If you live in Los Angeles, go to Damon & Pythias and get the Windmill Cake.

We sat around for the rest of the day because we were so full. We had all that food in the span of 1 hour. Around 3, we went to the gym to ride the ellipticals because we felt completely useless. We needed to get active.

After the gym, we met up with Ryuji. We both worked for him as interns 2 summers ago. HGOC now works for him again. Ryuji is this giant Japanese guy from Guam. He is also the most knowledgeable person on the planet. If you ask him for any type of fare, he will most certainly know where to direct you for a tasty meal. I wanted sushi that night, so he took us to his local place in Little Tokyo. It was delicious. Salmon roe, sea urchin, yellowtail, halibut, spicy scallop (superb taste), tuna, and deep fried shrimp heads to finish it off. I was stuffed.

Afterward, we went to Cabana Club. I have never seen so many fake people in my life. It was disgusting. So many blondes, so many fake boobs, so many twenty-something girls with 40- and 50-something boyfriends. There was one too many guys wearing a blue fur zip up hoodie with no undershirt. Yeah, picture that.

Part II to follow tomorrow.


  1. In-N-Out is by far amazing

    not only can you not beat the price...but it's actually tasty

    \And yes I do agree....people in LA don't work. Outside of going to the beach all day, I'm not sure what they really do out there.