Thursday, August 17, 2006

A New Era of Drama

“I hear they’re coming out with a third season, but I doubt it can be as good. Yes, the show was only semi-real, but I feel the third season is just going to be completely fake. It’s going to be like Real World, but in Laguna Beach. I’m sure they’ll have some new badass that cheats on everyone, a new blonde ditz, a super emotional punk chick with green hair and striped socks, a “secretly” gay person, a black guy who wants to be a musician, and some female minority that is a huge bitch. Do they even have non-Caucasians in that town? Maybe The Miz and Coral will show up to narrate the show. Who knows? At the very least, please stop Kristin from her horrible, monotone narration.” The Dirty Burrito (November 14, 2005)

I wrote that last November soon after Season 2 ended. I did seem very skeptical at the time. However, my anticipation greatly increased for a variety of reasons:

1) Hot high school girls (Somewhat of a Disclaimer: “Don’t jump on your high horse and pretend I’m some sick freak checking out high school girls. I know for a fact that every guy who watched this show held debates as to whether LC or Kristin was hotter in the first season, checked out Jessica’s boobs in the second season, and checked out every girl that wore a bikini. Ladies, I know many of you thought Jason and Talan were cute, and that you thought the guys from the third season are ‘hotties.’”The Dirty Burrito (December 29, 2005))

2) New cast

3) (I hate to admit this) The Hills sucked

4) Always stellar soundtrack

5) Hot high school girls (Can I be arrested for this comment, or does my “disclaimer” cover both mentions?)

The show opened up with a fine introductory narration to set the stage for the rest of the season. Though it gave us a background on the new cast, it didn’t leave open the opportunity to develop our own first impressions. In any case, this is what I got from that segment:

  • Tessa is the narrator
  • Rocky and Tessa are best friends
  • Chase is some sort of rock star in the making, and has some deep bond with Tessa
  • Kelan is Chase’s best friend and band mate
  • Cameron got really hot, turned into a player, and is hooking up with Jessica—yes, that Jessica
  • Cami is the Queen of Mean
  • Lexie is an Ice Princess
  • Breanna is LC’s little sister
  • Kyndra is the leader of the popular clique and turned her back on Tessa

I already don’t like her, but I have a feeling that before the season is over, Rocky will prove herself to be the super emotional punk chick, but without green hair and striped socks. She just has this Frankie-from-The Real World-San Diego thing about her.

Kelan seems to be an entertaining character. I watched the After Show special with the always beautiful Vanessa Minnillo, and I caught the segment where he was showing his room. He pointed to his bed and said something along the lines of “not much magic happens here.” Then, he patted his TV and called it his best friend. Actually, now that I think about it, he sounds like me in high school, except he’s in a band. What a sad existence I led…

Though Chase’s beard is more reminiscent of Jason, his personality is more comparable to Trey, who I believe also had a beard at some point. Just stick a trucker hat on the guy and have him organize some fashion shows for charity, and you’ve got Trey.

I don’t care for Breanna. I feel she only got on the show because LC threatened not to do The Hills unless her little sister got a spot on the new cast. She’s also not attractive.

I’m holding off on judging Lexie because we didn’t get to see much of her on the premiere. I will say that I find her somewhat appealing.

Cami is the female minority that is a huge bitch. What is she? Whatever she is, she definitely has huge boobs. (That is not to say that I think she is a looker.) What size are those things? There are so many mysteries about this girl.

I don’t like Kyndra. She, along with BFF Cami, is a super bitch. All I kept noticing about her were her fake nails. I hate fake things—fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake nails, etc. (Fake boobs are not included in this discussion.)

I foresee Cameron providing me with huge amounts of laughter. This guy is a total meathead. I keep waiting for him to head butt his friends as a greeting. I can’t wait to watch what unfolds between him and all his ladies. It’s amazing that he is hooking up with Jessica. I wish he had gotten her pregnant so they could’ve had the stupidest baby known to man. I did like the part in the after show where he showed the ceramic “GET A JOB” sign he made for Jessica because he “keeps telling her to get a job.” I actually burst into laughter for that one.

It took me the entire episode to formulate an opinion on our host, Tessa. I was torn on everything about her—narration, looks, personality, and choice of friends. In the end, I found myself liking her a lot, in spite of her friendship with Rocky. She narrates well, she is pretty, she has a good personality, and she is friends with the Trey-like Chase.

If you’ll turn your attention back to my opening quote, I said there would be 6 different archetypes: badass that cheats on everyone, a new blonde ditz, a super emotional punk chick with green hair and striped socks, a “secretly” gay person, a black guy who wants to be a musician, and some female minority that is a huge bitch.

It turns out that I guessed three of them correctly—badass that cheats on everyone (Cameron), a new blonde ditz (Kyndra), and some female minority that is a huge bitch (Cami).

I think Season 3 has a ton of potential. The girls are super bitches, and the guys actually bring something more than a beard and a surfboard to the table.

End Note: I realize I skipped over many plot points from the first episode, such as the Alex M., Alex H., Taylor, and Jessica Reunion Special, but I’m tired and I need sleep. I’ll try to get a follow-up entry posted this weekend. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

  1. you and your Laguna Beach. haha.