“Yo, what’s up? It’s 6:00, 6:30. I just had uh an epiphany that I needed to share with someone. Michael Jackson is THEEE world’s greatest. He is the best musician ever. And the reason because of this is the purpose of music is to invoke emotion and make you feel a certain way. And Michael Jackson—EVERYtime his song is on the radio—nobody changes it. And you ALWAYS love whatever song it is. And you can put him on any fucking radio station and it makes sense. You can put him on oldies—it’s ok. You can put him on pop—it’s ok. You can put him on R&B—it’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Michael Jackson is the fucking king of pop. Do not forget that. Bye.”
I left my phone in my apartment last night, and this was the message left for me by Hottest Guy on Campus. I listened to the message about ten times to make sure that I copied it correctly. I’m not going in depth on his theory because it was his epiphany, but he does seem to have a point. The only stations on which I wouldn’t play him are rock and country, but I’m sure someone can make a counter argument. I really can’t remember a time when I’ve said “Michael Jackson sucks. Change the music.” I am fairly certain that I have uttered the words, “Does he know he’s black” and “What a pedophile!” However, these comments were always followed by, “His music was great though.” I guess he is the King of Pop.
I’m going to get serious for a second. The Republicans seem to be hitting their stride in the media as the midterm elections near. First, there is the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Second, they just increased the indecency tenfold from $32,500 to $325,000 per incident. Third, it appears that they just killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.
The proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is a bunch of crap that will appeal to the idiotic Christian Conservatives who probably watch Blue Collar TV and worship Larry the Cable Guy. Lou Dobbs wrote a good piece on the uselessness of this amendment. This amendment is apparently going to preserve family values because a loving bond between a man and a woman is the only way God meant people to be together. The Republicans must have forgotten about all the divorces, crack babies, Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston, all the wifebeaters on Cops, and OJ & Nicole. Maybe Bible belt Republicans have perfect families—except the priest in Footloose. His daughter was a whore who had premarital sex and dared to dance with Kevin Bacon.
This whole indecency issue is a bunch of crap also. Why is America so uptight? They show boobs in Europe. I don’t think it should be a big deal to show boobs on network TV during prime time. Kids can just go to the Internet for porn anyway. America is just going to drive people crazy. It’s like when parents are really strict with their daughters, always keeping them under strict supervision, and sheltering them. What eventually happens to these girls? They end up being huge whores—just like the priest’s daughter in Footloose.
As for the al-Zarqawi thing, I’m guessing it’s legit. However, I do have a conspiracy theory. I bet they killed him months ago, but kept it a secret until elections neared just to show that the war on terror is being won. Uninformed idiots will believe that the war on terror is being won. Unfortunately, there are other people who will take al-Zarqawi’s place. By the way, did they find Osama yet?
I will now revert to pop culture. I saw The Hills last night. Heidi is unreal. She has the potential to be the stupidest girl in the history of reality television. She flakes out on everything and couldn’t interview properly if her life depended on it. That relationship she has with her boyfriend seems to be pretty messed up also. They’re always fighting because they’re jealous of one another, and they tell each other to quit everything. I could see those two on a future episode of Cops living in a trailer with eight kids, showing America that a union between a man and a woman is the only way to preserve family values.