Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Bye, Bye, Bye Old Guy

Do you remember the Backstreet Boys post I wrote following my 2nd row attendance at their concert? I highly recommend that you read it because it seems to be a fan favorite--yes, my one fan absolutely loves it. I would just like to bring to your attention what I wrote about Kevin Richardson back in January: "It was very obvious that Kevin felt he was too old for this. I did some research on IMDb and it turns out that he is going to be 35 in October. Poor guy. He was wearing his wedding ring during the performance, and he just looked like he wanted to go home so he could hang out with his wife."

Earlier this week, Kevin "I'm Old" Richardson left the Backstreet Boys. I have amazing foresight. Thank you, thank you.

Take a look below at one of the clips I captured from the concert. The poor guy just seems to be going through the motions and wondering what the hell he is doing on stage. I prefer to believe he was thinking, "This sucks. High school girls were so much cooler 10 years ago during my mid-twenties."

This totally leaves the door open for *NSYNC to reunite and have a more amazing comeback tour. I know I don't want to see BSB sans-Kevin Richardson. Maybe after Lance Bass finally comes out, they can do a tour. It can also help Lance get back in the spotlight so he can attempt to be an astronaut again.

On another note, did you really think I was going to post on a Thursday without mentioning The Hills? I've come to the conclusion that Brian, Jordan, and Jason are a trio of douchebags. I'm still very interested in the show, but it's not too exciting to watch people go to these LA clubs and partake in underage drinking. And while we're on the subject of underage drinking, did anyone else notice that a girl that will appear on Season 3 of Laguna Beach was at the dinner table for Jason's birthday? She was sitting to Jason's right when he ditched Lauren to sit at the end of the table and flirt with those lovely ladies. Her picture is below. If you happen to catch one of the 30 reruns, watch out for her.

I Have A Drinking Problem

On Monday night, I went out with some fellow employees to celebrate our intern's 21st birthday. Unfortunately, I had not been out in almost three weeks and had barely eaten all day. Well, we all know what happens when you combine a drinking drought with very little food.

I think I only drank 2 margaritas, 3 beers, and a shot of Jagermeister over a span of 4 hours. I didn't think this was overboard, yet I still managed to get lost on my walk home and black out for a couple blocks of my trek.

Getting lost after a night of drinking has been a common occurrence lately, and I don't like it. Remember when I fell asleep on the F train? This problem only popped up in the last few months. I need to fix it fast because something bad might happen--I might get jumped, hit by a bus, or donate money to a beggar. Luckily, none of these bad things happened last night. My small detour took me right by a 24 hour KFC. I finally got to taste the the mouth-watering goodness that is a Famous Bowl, and I ordered a 3 piece meal with mashed potatoes and a biscuit. Original Recipe is the tastiest of the tasty. I love KFC.

I apologize for not updating since last Monday. I'm a working man now, and I can't just sit on my couch all day, surf the net, and update my blog. I promise I'll try to update 2-3 times a week henceforth.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Cannes Lions 2006

I want to give a shoutout to Louie Sotto (Copywriter) and Gogie Sinson (Art Director) from The Agency. Their print PSA campaign for Tower Records Philippines has been named a finalist at Cannes Lions 2006. They used CD cases to make visual puns on iPods. Here are are the ads:

Real fans
get CDs.Because downloaded music
means downgraded sound.
12 songs.
A few photos.
No videos.
Still sounds better.

The England, The France, The Russia, The China, and The Ukraine

Guess what? Ukraine defeated Saudi Arabia today. It was a joyous day for Ukrainians, unfortunately the horrid announcers at ESPN kept referring to the country as “The Ukraine.” Any Ukrainian will tell you that the country is simply referred to as “Ukraine.” I know this because I went to high school with a Ukrainian kid, and I thought he was going to kill someone every time someone referred to his homeland as “The Ukraine.”

He does have a valid argument. At what point did the world start putting “The” in front of Ukraine? This doesn’t happen with other countries. What if we started referring to other countries like this? We’d have The England, The France, The Russia, and The China. Poor Ukraine. Your name will forever be misstated.

I also have a problem with all these Americanized versions of European cities. Why can’t we just refer to Munich as M√ľnchen, just like the Germans. Same thing with Torino—why did it have to become Turin? I don’t get it.

This morning, I was looking over an ad at my new job at The Group. It contained the word “smorgasbord.” I thought I had spotted a spelling error, and felt compelled to bring it to the attention of my new boss so I could impress her with my diligence. I wanted to be sure, so I went to Dictionary.com. It turns out I was incorrect, and the word is actually “smorgasbord.” I felt like a fool, well at least until the afternoon meeting with other accounts people. Two other girls saw it and said, “Smorgasbord? Is that how it’s spelled.” I said, “Yep. I checked it this morning cause I thought it was spelled wrong, too.” We all thought it was spelled “smorgasborg.” I know it’s because we all saw it on a childhood animated feature or cartoon. I’m inclined to say that I heard it in Looney Tunes or Charlotte’s Web. In Looney Tunes, anyone could have said it. In Charlotte’s Web, I’m thinking of the scene where the rat is singing about all the garbage he gets to forage through for food. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Sunday, June 18, 2006

World Cup Commentary

I finished watching the morning game between Japan and Croatia, and I flipped to Univision because I didn't want to listen to Brent Musberger talk about how the US still has life in the World Cup. (I hope Ghana destroy them, and I believe this will happen if Ghana play like they did against the Czech Republic.) Univision is a truly brilliant channel. The Sunday morning show was airing, and the set was plastered with hot Latin women in tight pants or skirts and tight Brazilian jerseys or tight Brazil-colored tops. I don't know what they were talking about, but they were definitely dancing the whole time while sambas played in the background. The only person not dancing was the sole male host who was wearing a suit. He still seemed pretty happy though. Now that is a sweet job.

We really need to adopt something like this in the US. I don't think we should stop at Sunday mornings. They have this type of stuff all week on Univision. I know if Today or Good Morning America tried this formula, it would probably destroy ratings (Does CBS even have a morning show? If so, what is it?), but ESPN2's Cold Pizza should jump on this idea. It's not like their ratings are that sweet anyway. The primary audience is male. It could totally work.

I've been catching the first halves of the noon games during lunch at work. During the Netherlands vs. Ivory Coast game, Tommy Smyth and some British guy were doing the commentary. Many of you know that I hate Tommy Smyth with a passion, but I have changed my mind since hearing him do the first half. He kept dropping hilarious one-liners and non-sensical comments. His British partner did some great commentary as well. I give a big thumbs up to Tommy Smyth.

As always, I think JP Dellacamera sucks. I think everyone knows that Michael Essien and Petr Cech are Chelseas teammates. He only mentioned it every 5 minutes. John Harkes has quite an annoying voice. Marcelo Balboa is pretty crappy as well, not to mention his ridiculous hair. I do like listening to Eric Wynalda during halftime. He just says whatever he wants, but it has substance. I think it's refreshing. I also think that if you mention that David Beckham is married to Posh Spice, you should be fired. I have one last thought on World Cup commentary: why isn't Derek Rae doing any games? Not only does Derek Rae have a strong voice with insightful commentary, you could pair him with Tommy Smyth, and Tommy could rip on Derek's Scottish heritage just like in Champions League matches.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Marv Albert Rules

I have several thoughts running through my head. I’m going to run through them in no particular order, so don’t expect any coherent structure.

I’ve decided on a name for my new workplace. My previous employers were referred to as The Corporation and The Agency. I will refer to the new employer as The Group because of mergers and the new name of the company. I start my new job today, and I am ecstatic. It is the type of work I want to be doing, and I don’t feel like I’m settling for a position. I really wanted this job, and I got it. I really hope everything works out. Wish me luck.

Because of my new job, I won't be able to do my random mid-day updates. I think I'll just update late at night from this point forward.

I joined a gym last week—New York Health & Racquet Club. It’s much too expensive for my salary, but I am saving a lot of money in rent. Even though I have access to all ten locations, I’ll probably only use three of them. They are all exceptional facilities. I have until June 22 to try it out and decide if I want to keep the membership. I probably will keep it, but I’ll be hitting the gym hard until then to make sure. Plus, I need to hit the gym hard just to get my money’s worth.

I got up bright and early on Saturday morning to join some friends at Central Bar to watch England’s opening World Cup game. It was a fun atmosphere, and it was great to see such passionate supporters. I tried sneaking my way into a space at the bar to get another round of drinks, but I snuck in right next to a rabid fan who kept staring at me and yelling at the TV. I decided that the beer was not as important as staying out of a physical confrontation with the much larger and stronger gentleman. I watched the England game and half of the Sweden game before I had to call it a day and nap before heading out for Chunky Salsa’s birthday festivities later that night. My friend Jimmy didn’t call it a day. He drank beer all morning, Jack & Cokes all afternoon, and drank even more at the birthday festivities. He basically drank from 8 AM until 2 AM, and only ate fries at some point in the middle of the afternoon. Those British are crazy.

The World Cup has been spectacular to watch. It’s unfortunate that all the group stage games are on at 9AM, noon, and 3 PM everyday until June 23. I wish the games were on later so that I could at least catch one game a day.

I went to a BBQ festival that was held in the city this weekend. It was scrumtrulescent. Basically, several award-winning BBQ restaurants set up booths around Madison Square Park. Each restaurant only served one of either brisket & sausage, ribs, or pulled pork. Depending on the restaurant, this was served with coleslaw or baked beans and a roll. It was only $7. The food was delicious. I got pulled pork with coleslaw. I hate coleslaw, but even the coleslaw was great. I now have a craving for BBQ. Too bad I can’t really afford it right now.

I was watching halftime of Game 2 of the NBA Finals. The puff piece for this game is about referee Bob Delaney’s previous occupation as a mob infiltrator for the FBI. It’s an interesting story about the dangers of his job and how getting chewed out by teams and fans pales in comparison. Unfortunately, they already did this story last year. Does ABC think we don’t remember this stuff? I know there are new viewers every year, but pretty much all of the people that watched last year are watching again this year. Last year they ran the piece on SportsCenter and at halftime of a game. ABC is completely lacking originality. At least their Finals song of “Running Down A Dream” is better than that horrendous Rob Thomas song of last year.

Hubie Brown is extremely annoying as an announcer. In fact, ABC/ESPN’s entire coverage of the playoffs is inferior to TNT’s coverage of the playoffs. From the pre-game and post-game to the in-game announcing, everything about TNT is more entertaining. The team of Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and the immortal Charles Barkley is funny and insightful. Even though I hate Doug Collins, having Steve Kerr and the incomparable Marv Albert (YES!) is music to my ears. I know Marv had the weird fetish thing, but you can’t deny the man’s skill. I can’t wait for the day when Hubie Brown retires from commentary, and Marv Albert and Steve Kerr announce every major playoff game.

Who gave the green light for that new Wayans brothers movie, Little Man? I heard White Chicks was funny, but give me a break. They put one of the Wayans’ head on a baby for an entire movie. I don’t see any humor in it whatsoever.

I’m still confused by The Lakehouse, starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. How do you live two years apart? Is it a sci-fi movie, a love story, or both? Who is the target demographic? I see failure written all over this movie.

That Nadal-Federer French Open final was nerve-wracking. I’m glad to see some high quality tennis again. Roddick sucked and never presented a challenge to Federer. The American media just hyped him up because they could have another A-Rod in sports. Nadal is the real deal. He owns Federer. I was pulling for Nadal to win; he wears capris. I like Federer also because he always brings his best for his opponents, but I’m a bit old school and always like Pete Sampras. I’m not so sure I want Federer to break his record of 14 Grand Slams. He’ll probably do it because he averages like two Grand Slam titles per year, but I can still hope.

I watched Entourage religiously when it premiered in the summer of 2004. I did not have HBO during the second season, so I was not able to watch it. I do not have HBO right now, so I will miss the third season. I am very disappointed about all of this.

Lastly, I updated my pictures.

Friday, June 09, 2006

I Get Paid For This?

I've been temping at this real estate/property management company since Wednesday. I'm supposed to answer phones and do some data entry. Lucky for me there is another admin-type person here, and she answers all the calls. Because they're switching phone systems, her station is the only one that can transfer calls. I can't really do the data entry because the guy who is supervising me is relatively new here and doesn't really know protocol. He pretty much relied on his assistant for everything, and she is gone. Basically, I can't do anything but surf the web. Occasionally, I buzz people in to the office or search for Excel documents on the hard drive. The first day I was here, I showed the guy how to search for things within documents by hitting Ctrl-F. It's pretty rough here. I've decided to post some of the stuff I've come across on the Internet.

I came across an unreal teaser for the live-action Transformers movie. As a childhood fan of Transformers, I can't wait for this movie 's release. Click on the link to see the teaser:
  • Transformers

  • Here is another countdown site, but I think this is just wrong. We should wait about 16 years for something like this:
  • Oh baby!

  • VH1's Best Week Ever Blog judges the careers of the Full House cast:

  • Whatever happened to DJ's boyfriend?

  • No wonder Barry is so crabby all the time:
  • I didn't know Barry was a switch-hitter
  • World Cup Fever

    I must admit that I am gripped by World Cup fever. I guess this isn’t surprising since I grew up playing futbol. Once every four years for one full month, I get to see the game played at its highest level. It’s great to see a sport that can stop countries from functioning for 90 minutes. For reasons I’ve already stated, I hope the United States wins.

    I joined the ESPN Fantasy League and Germany Cup Pick’em Tournament. The display in the windows of the adidas store at the corner of Broadway and Houston is pretty sweet. They display the groups with each team represented by a custom made +F50 Tunit boot. For some reason they’re missing Tunisia and Ecuador. Perhaps the boots were lost in shipping.

    Part of me wishes I could have started my new job in July instead of Monday. This way, I’d get to stay home and watch games all day. At least I have the weekends to watch games. I’ll be watching England’s opener against Paraguay this Saturday with a bunch of rowdy Englishmen. I’ll be at Central Bar, probably the only Asian guy in the bar wearing an England jersey, getting drunk and cheering with some pale, red-headed England fans at 8 AM. My friend Jimmy, who is English and invited me to this glorious event, told me to say I liked Beckham if anyone asked why I’m wearing an England jersey. I was somewhat drunk when he told me this, and I went berserk. I hate David Beckham. I’m not about to play into the stereotype that all Asians love Beckham. If anyone asks, I’ll say I’m a fan of the 6’7 giant, Peter Crouch.

    By the way, I got a new job. I’ll be working in account management for an advertising/direct marketing agency. I’m not yet sure what I will nickname the company. I start Monday and once I get a feel for the work and the office environment, I’ll come up with something edgy, amusing, or none of the above. Since I am now employed, don’t expect mid-day updates. I’ll have to work out a new update schedule.

    In regards to yesterday’s post, a few people seem to think that The HGOC was wasted when he had his Michael Jackson epiphany. If you are one of these people, then you are mistaken. I received the message at approximately 6:30 PM. I’m fairly certain he was driving, working out, or working for his dad because these are the only times I’ve ever heard him listen to the radio. He also sounded completely sober. There you have it—a sober, drug-free epiphany.

    Thursday, June 08, 2006

    The King of Pop & Other Thoughts

    “Yo, what’s up? It’s 6:00, 6:30. I just had uh an epiphany that I needed to share with someone. Michael Jackson is THEEE world’s greatest. He is the best musician ever. And the reason because of this is the purpose of music is to invoke emotion and make you feel a certain way. And Michael Jackson—EVERYtime his song is on the radio—nobody changes it. And you ALWAYS love whatever song it is. And you can put him on any fucking radio station and it makes sense. You can put him on oldies—it’s ok. You can put him on pop—it’s ok. You can put him on R&B—it’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Michael Jackson is the fucking king of pop. Do not forget that. Bye.”

    I left my phone in my apartment last night, and this was the message left for me by Hottest Guy on Campus. I listened to the message about ten times to make sure that I copied it correctly. I’m not going in depth on his theory because it was his epiphany, but he does seem to have a point. The only stations on which I wouldn’t play him are rock and country, but I’m sure someone can make a counter argument. I really can’t remember a time when I’ve said “Michael Jackson sucks. Change the music.” I am fairly certain that I have uttered the words, “Does he know he’s black” and “What a pedophile!” However, these comments were always followed by, “His music was great though.” I guess he is the King of Pop.

    I’m going to get serious for a second. The Republicans seem to be hitting their stride in the media as the midterm elections near. First, there is the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Second, they just increased the indecency tenfold from $32,500 to $325,000 per incident. Third, it appears that they just killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

    The proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is a bunch of crap that will appeal to the idiotic Christian Conservatives who probably watch Blue Collar TV and worship Larry the Cable Guy. Lou Dobbs wrote a good piece on the uselessness of this amendment. This amendment is apparently going to preserve family values because a loving bond between a man and a woman is the only way God meant people to be together. The Republicans must have forgotten about all the divorces, crack babies, Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston, all the wifebeaters on Cops, and OJ & Nicole. Maybe Bible belt Republicans have perfect families—except the priest in Footloose. His daughter was a whore who had premarital sex and dared to dance with Kevin Bacon.

    This whole indecency issue is a bunch of crap also. Why is America so uptight? They show boobs in Europe. I don’t think it should be a big deal to show boobs on network TV during prime time. Kids can just go to the Internet for porn anyway. America is just going to drive people crazy. It’s like when parents are really strict with their daughters, always keeping them under strict supervision, and sheltering them. What eventually happens to these girls? They end up being huge whores—just like the priest’s daughter in Footloose.

    As for the al-Zarqawi thing, I’m guessing it’s legit. However, I do have a conspiracy theory. I bet they killed him months ago, but kept it a secret until elections neared just to show that the war on terror is being won. Uninformed idiots will believe that the war on terror is being won. Unfortunately, there are other people who will take al-Zarqawi’s place. By the way, did they find Osama yet?

    I will now revert to pop culture. I saw The Hills last night. Heidi is unreal. She has the potential to be the stupidest girl in the history of reality television. She flakes out on everything and couldn’t interview properly if her life depended on it. That relationship she has with her boyfriend seems to be pretty messed up also. They’re always fighting because they’re jealous of one another, and they tell each other to quit everything. I could see those two on a future episode of Cops living in a trailer with eight kids, showing America that a union between a man and a woman is the only way to preserve family values.

    Friday, June 02, 2006

    National Break-Up Day

    Happy National Break-Up Day! The King of Beers and The Break-Up got together for this nice event to promote the movie starring Vince “Swingers” Vaughn and Jennifer “My Movies Always Flop” Aniston. If you have a deadbeat boyfriend who splits his time between your couch and your bed or a girlfriend who keeps nagging you about shutting the cabinets and being nice to her girlfriends, then today is your big chance to kick him or her to the curb. You don’t need to go on Maury or come up with some elaborate excuse. Just say it’s National Break-Up Day. And if you don’t have the balls to do it in person, send your soon-to-be ex an E-mail through the official site. Good luck!

    Thursday, June 01, 2006

    The Hills Premiere

    The long awaited premiere of The Hills finally aired last night at 10 PM. Unfortunately, I did not watch it. My girlfriend decided that we were going to watch the Pistons game instead. I argued that I needed to watch it because I’m The Dirty Burrito, I’ve been waiting for this moment for months, and I need to watch it so I can write about it immediately. She decided to use the “It’s my apartment” card. I lost.

    Luckily, this show is on MTV, and MTV loves to show reruns. Since I don’t have a real job right now, I decided I was going to stay up for the 12:30 AM re-airing of the premiere. The only drawbacks are that I don’t get to catch the original commercials, and I’m not going to stay up an extra half hour to catch Cheyenne. I had originally planned to watch Cheyenne so I could rip it to shreds. This will just have to wait until next week. If you’re wondering why I didn’t write anything about the RW/RR Challenge: Fresh Meat, it’s because my girlfriend hates that show as much as I hate The Real World. Again, not my apartment, i.e., I lose again. Hopefully, I’ll catch reruns this weekend of both Cheyenne and Fresh Meat and blog about it then. Now without further ado, I will give my thoughts on The Hills premiere.

    I think the first episode was average, though I’m not counting that against the show. I thought the first episode of Laguna Beach was average, but you know how much I love it now.

    The Hills has a lot of potential. There are all those beautiful people hanging out together in Los Angeles, and I choose to believe they are financially supported by MTV. How else can LC and Heidi afford that spacious apartment in the beautiful complex? How will they pay for the gasoline to fuel their cars? How will they afford to go out all those nights? I’m sure Daddy helps a bit, but MTV probably chips in a nice amount. It’s chump change compared to the ad revenue brought in by the show.

    I’m not so sure what to think of all the girls yet. LC is looking good as always, but I want to see how she will handle being around all those girls and how she will handle her job at Teen Vogue. Since I’ve been doing my own rounds in the interview circuit, I could sense her unease and lack of preparation with all her “likes” and generic answers about how she gets inspired by Teen Vogue. Heidi appears to be somewhat attractive, but extremely idiotic. She doesn’t seem to have any ambition and expects to just coast her way up through the PR ranks. I’m not a fashion or PR expert, but why is she going to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandise if she wants to be in PR? I pose this question in all seriousness. If this is a path to PR, please let me know. Audrina appears to be attractive. I can’t get a read on her yet. I’m not attracted to Whitney at all. I also don’t know what to make of her, but after hearing the blurb about her sorority, she seems to have the potential of The Blonde or Susie Sisterhood.

    The guys all look like they’re going to be major douches. I feel we’ll see our fair share of popped polos and cocked hats from these young lads.

    I want to know how they cast these people. You know they held auditions for this show. I bet casting had a significant role in LC “choosing” to move to LA with Heidi. I bet Lo didn’t make the cut. I wonder how they got the other two girls. I bet they could’ve found hotter people. I bet Audrina and Whitney just had “headcase” written all over them when they were interviewing from the casting couch. As for the guys, I’m sure they wanted some players or controlling types who still pop their pink Lacoste shirts. Since you can find idiots like these at any fraternity across the country, I bet finding the fellas was the easiest part of the casting director’s day.

    As for the reality of the show, it’s pretty obvious that the producers have nearly given up on the concept of portraying it as reality. Everyone already knows it’s only semi-real. Almost every encounter was contrived. From LC’s interview being rushed, to Heidi meeting Audrina, and to LC meeting Whitney on the first day, it all felt staged. I’m not complaining though. It makes for good TV. I would kill to direct one of these shows or even be a storyboard editor.

    All in all, I was entertained. The Hills looks like it’s going to be filled with tons of drama and tons of entertainment. I’ll be tuning in every Wednesday at 10 PM, unless my girlfriend decides to watch the Pistons.