Wednesday, May 03, 2006

An Ode to Sir Charles

In light of John Daly’s revelation that he has a gambling problem, Charles Barkley, in his usual upfront manner, said he also loses millions of dollars gambling.

Unfortunately, every sportswriter and sportscaster had to get on his high horse and say something about how Sir Charles has a gambling problem. I say “shut up” sports journalists of America.

Charles Barkley is a great man. He has earned millions of dollars throughout his career, and is still earning millions of dollars. If he wants to gamble most of it away, I say go ahead. I think the sports journalists that criticize him are just jealous because they wish they had the freedom to gamble away half of what he normally loses.

Keep on gambling Sir Charles. As a tribute, I’m going to post some of my favorite quotes. Go here if you want to see a comprehensive list:

Reggie Miller: "Gonzaga. That's my dark horse."
Charles: "They ain't that dark."

"When you play for the Wizards, [Gilbert Arenas] is like Michael Jackson. He's playin with a lot of Tito Jacksons."

At halftime of the all star game, in response to seeing Beyonce in the crowd, Barkley said, "All I wanna know is when ya see someone that pretty, how can you go to Brokeback Mountain?"

EJ: "The Wizards have not won a playoff series since 1988.
"Barkley: "That's only because they sucked."

"Man, there's nothing in the world that makes me as nervous as seeing white people dance."

When asked why blacks excel at basketball: "It doesn't cost anything to play."

"Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived."

"In the old days, you didn't take two days off for a hangnail or a yeast infection like they do these days. I can't believe a guy would sit out of a game for a broken nose. I played with a broken nose. I strapped one of those head gears on, couldn't see side-to-side, so I took it off like a man and played. I saw Larry Bird do it too. You can't sit out with a broken nose. You don't need your nose to play basketball."

Charles Barkley: "I'm so sick of fat people."
Kenny Smith: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
Barkley: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"

On Magic Johnson's return to basketball: "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."

Ernie: Charles do you know what a blog is?
Charles: No, I just know it has something to do with the internet. I don't do the internet. Anybody that sits and plays on the computer just has no life.

And I have no life…

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