Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Random Thoughts

“Carlo has been away for over 4 months. His native land of the Philippines has convinced him that Filipinos are the best and that coming home to America may just suck. So we're throwing him a party for his return to the States and his new-found pride of Filipinos. And to convince Carlo that he's missed so much quality in America since his departure, we're throwing him an American pride party full of all the red white and blue you can think of.”

That was from the Facebook party e-vite regarding the super cool welcome back party that my super cool friends from the Americas threw for me on Friday. It was loads of fun. Thank you to all who graced me with their presence, and special thanks to Chelle, Sara, and Michele for organizing such a wonderous event. It was a little like a flashback to the college days—full of booze, beer pong, flip cup, and puking. Good times all around. Pics should be up within the next 48 hours.

I’ve been a bit lazy in getting acclimated with the popular culture in the Americas. All it would take is for me to listen to the radio and watch TV. This sounds easy enough, but I’m actually finding it rather difficult. Listening to the radio is horrid. I’ve thought popular music has been going down the toilet for quite some time now, but the degree to which it sucks is magnified when you leave the country for 4 months and come back to even worse crap. Every song is overplayed. Every rap song I’ve heard so far sounds exactly the same—some black guys I wouldn’t understand without lyrics.com in deep voices going “uh huh,” “yeah,” and “whoa.” Don’t even get me started about the song that talks about falling in love with a stripper. Seriously. John Haverlund said it best after mockingly rapping T.I.’s “Rubberband Man”: “What is this song even about? Have they run out of stuff to rap about, so they wrote a song about a rubberband man?”

I feel disappointed that I haven’t mustered the energy to get back on track with television. I used to watch TV about 5 hours a day even when I worked. I watched everything. My favorite shows included Laguna Beach, VH1’s Best Week Ever, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge (Gauntlet, Inferno, etc.), One Tree Hill, The OC, Everwood, and pretty much any dating show on MTV. When I decided to leave the country, I was legitimately disappointed that I would miss The Gauntlet II and that I might miss The Hills. Luckily, The Hills isn’t on yet, but 8th & Ocean is going strong and I hear it’s hilarious. I just found out it’s on at 10:30 on Tuesdays. That’s all I know though. I have no clue when anything else is on. I’m going to have to find when every other show is on, AND catch up on all the old episodes. This requires a lot of downloading on Limewire. Do I really want to do this? Not really. Will I do this? I’m not sure yet.

Luckily, some shows don’t require me to watch episodes in sequence. The shows I’m talking about are Yo Momma and Parental Control. Yo Momma, hosted by Fes a.k.a Wilmer Valderrama, is a show where people just make Yo Momma jokes. It’s a tournament style competition where they take people from different “regions” (or cities) and they do head-to-head “battles,” similar to rap battles but with yo momma jokes, to see who advances to the final four…of yo momma jokes. Who thought of this show? Was this the brainchild of Fes? This is ridiculous. “I’m looking for someone from Torrance to win the battle against East LA tonight.” That’s what one of the hosts said before beginning the yo momma battle of Torrance, CA. There are some good jokes though. “Yo momma’s so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.” That was from the battle in East LA. I think they have a shot at representin’. I wish I were that witty in 5th grade. What is even more fantastic is that Fes and his 2 co-hosts convene after each battle in the final four and actually talk out who wins. It’s a yo momma competition! What do you convene about?

I was introduced to Parental Control by the Hottest Guy on Campus. His prediction before I even viewed one second of the show, “You’re going to love this. This is going to be your new obsession.” I was hooked within the first 5 seconds. Parents who disapprove of their child’s significant other get to interview other prospective candidates and choose 2 new dates for their child while the current significant other has to sit on a couch by the parents and watch the date—all while talking trash to one another. Why anyone would agree to go on this show, I don’t know. Obviously, the relationship must not be that great if your significant other wants to date 2 other people in front of you, then choose if he/she wants to stay with you. I recommend this show to everyone.

I know this old news to a lot of you, but it’s new to me dammit! Let me enjoy my foray back into pop culture!

I just saw a commercial for Just My Luck starring Lindsay Lohan. She just doesn’t look hot anymore. Good thing Samaire Armstrong is in it! She played Anna in the first season of The OC and Ari’s secretary from the first season of Entourage. I don't even really like blondes, but I always thought she was hotter than Summer.

Anybody who hasn’t seen the movie Waiting needs to see it immediately. It should be out on DVD. Watch it. Hilarious.

I’ve also started my employment search. I’ve applied to several companies in California. If anyone knows any openings out there, let me know.

Some other excellent yo momma jokes:

Yo momma’s so crazy, she breaks down more than Mariah Carey

Yo momma’s breath is so bad, she made Altoids go on strike.

I’m watching a re-run of My Super Sweet 16 for the girl in Scottsdale, AZ. Some girl just used “off the hook” in a sentence, as in “This party is sooo off the hook.” When was the last time you heard that phrase?

I just decided I’m not going to edit this post because it’s a random thought post. It’s the bastard child of blogging. It doesn’t deserve editing.

I’ve been trying to think of why I don’t like Chicago. I have no urge to move there. I don’t even consider jobs that are located there. It’s a surprise to me that I’ve been there on three occasions to visit my friends. I’ve decided that it was because when I was young, my family would go there every two years to visit some obscure relatives—like parent’s 2nd cousins or something like that. On my list of things I hate in life, being forced to mingle and BS with obscure relatives easily makes my top five. Ever since I took those trips, I have never liked going to Chicago.

Rihanna is pretty hot. Her music—not so much.

I know I’ve said this multiple time before, but The Real World really sucks. The last one that I really enjoyed was Real World Seattle. After that, the only tolerable cast came from San Diego. The only good thing that comes from new seasons of The Real World is the pool of new contestants for The Inferno or The Gauntlet.

I’ve also started my employment search. I’ve applied to several companies in California. If anyone knows any openings out there, let me know.


  1. I just rented Waiting last Friday and forced Sai to watch it with me! It was so hilarious and brought back memories of working as a cook at A&W...except for whippin' out "THE GOAT"! Sai almost puked when she saw that one guy's scrotum! I was rollin' over laughing! Those were things guys in high school would do! Such a Guy Movie! Ryan Reynolds Rules!

  2. HA I actually don't care too much for Chicago either...yet I'm here (well actually in toronto on work, but you get the gist.). Anyways, I'm not sure if you know this but since you've been gone, Bryce Henson was on Parental Control. Quite possibly the funniest episode I've ever seen. Could have been since I actually know bryce or the fact that he was fencing on it. meh. Welcome back to the US

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