Monday, August 15, 2005

Random Thoughts

Hey folks. I know it has been awhile, but I finally have an update for you. This post isn’t going to have any real direction, so just stay with me please.

The Fighting Ligers challenged the undefeated team tonight from Monday night kickball. They played 2 fewer games than we did, so their undefeated record is somewhat misleading. The Minneapolis Parks & Rec decided that we should have a one game playoff to decide Target kickball supremacy. Naturally, we won. The score was 2-0. Guess who scored both runs. Yep, you guessed it. It was a total team effort, however, I am an ass; I’m going to give myself credit where credit is due. I only batted twice, but I lead-off both times and got on base like I was supposed to. My teammates did some excellent kicking and getting me home twice. I’ve only been at Target for 7 weeks and I’m already on top of the intramural world. My life is complete. The only reason I’m even still working is because it’s the only way I can stay on top of the intramural world.

I’ve gotten complaints from some people that I only talk about random stuff I see on TV. I’m sorry that I’m not cool as all of you people. I can’t go partying every night. I don’t have 3000 bars from which to choose every night, nor do I have the economic resources to fund going to a bar every night. I choose to enjoy the comforts of the television. It is both cheap and entertaining. I feel no shame in that. While we’re on the subject of bars…There are a couple bars in Minneapolis that offer free drinks on Friday and Saturday night for a certain period of time. I find this to be absolutely amazing. Tonic offers free drinks from 10-11 on Friday and Saturday night for a $5 cover. That’s cheap. The drinks there are really strong, too. The Lone Tree offers free drinks on Saturday night from either 9 or 9:30 until 10:30, and they do not charge a cover. Their drinks, however, are not as strong as the drinks at Tonic.

I think Bill Simmons talks about Boston too much. I know he is from Boston, but it’s getting to the point where I start to roll my eyes as soon as he mentions Boston. I don’t care if he makes comparisons to some Boston things, but it gets annoying when he writes paragraphs about Boston subjects. I really wish he would do more mailbags and do that E-mail thing with Chuck Klosterman again. That was nasty.

I like Scoop Jackson. He has a unique writing style.

I just saw Kelly Monaco in Maxim. She is hot.

I’m in the middle or reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Did you know the US ran a war game around 2000 or 2001? I’m going to sum it up for you. They put a retired general or colonel or something like that as the leader of the enemy. It was the US versus a Middle Eastern power that was headed by a dictator. The retired guy was awesome and he sank like 14 ships and aircraft carriers. He pretty much won. Can you guess what the US did? They basically reset the game. The ships magically weren’t sunk anymore, and the enemy had a limit on the weapons and missiles they could use. Not surprisingly, the US won the war game the 2nd time around because, well, they cheated. They used this as proof that they were going to win in the Middle East. And you wonder why so many soldiers are dying.

I’m going to start buying lotto tickets. If I win, I’m going to take all my friends on a sick vacation. We’re going to get our own private villas and just go crazy. I’m also going to invite LC, Stephen, Lo, Trey, Dieter, Talan, Jessica, and Lindsay Lohan’s mom. Lindsay Lohan can come if she gets her normal hair color back and puts on that weight that she lost in an effort to be thinner than the Olsens. Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Ron Livingston, Patrick Van Horn, Alex Desert, and Doug Liman will also be invited. For those of you who don’t know the aforementioned reality stars, actors, or director, then you truly don’t know me. Brad Pitt will be welcome as well; he’s the coolest. I also want to invite all the people from Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive. I especially want to see the Honorable Alexander Clifford. He’s the son of the 14th Baron the Lord Thomas Hugh John Clifford of Chudleigh, Devon. That cracks me up. He also looks really goofy. Haley Giraldo and Kourtney Kardashian are also invited. They are hot. They’re so spoiled and funny. I’d give them so much shit. Anyway, we’d just go crazy on some tropical island. It’d be nuts. My ideas are too outlandish to put down in writing.

The music on Laguna Beach is nasty. They really should let us know the songs they play, like what they do on the WB. They tell you the artists that had songs on that episode. They just played Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessional, another old Dashboard classic about heartbreak. Alex is stalking Jason. What a psycho. Casey gets uglier by the episode. God help her if she doesn’t marry someone rich or inherit her parents’ money, because she seems really stupid and will never make it on her own.

Whoa! Hilary Duff video with that catchy song from the Kohl’s commercial. I’m pretty happy…except there was no LC or Stephen on this episode.

This girl on My Super Sweet 16 is annoying as hell. If she were my kid, I’d smack her. No party. What kind of parents let their children act like that? How do you even raise your kids to get to that point?

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