Sunday, August 28, 2005

Random Semi-Jogging Journal Thoughts

Sorry for being gone so long folks. Multiple things came up: IM football, staying late at The Corporation, being tired, etc. Anyway, I decided that I’d watch the VMAs tonight. I haven’t actually watched the VMAs in a long time, but Lindsay Lohan flashed the peace sign at me and I immediately felt obligated to watch. She didn’t look that bad tonight, but I still think she should gain her weight back and get back to her natural hair color.

Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom are starring in Garden State 2…I mean Elizabethtown. Orlando is having a career crisis and is on the verge of suicide, his dad dies so he goes home, and he meets Kirsten Dunst and they fall in love. At least he isn’t playing an elf, knight, or pirate. He also flashed the peace sign, and I knew that I had chosen the right program to watch.

I knew Green Day was going to win Best Rock Video. That’s so predictable. What was wrong with Mr. Brightside by The Killers? If they won Best Rock Video for When I Come Around, then I’d be totally OK with this but why don’t we try and surprise people by giving the award to someone else.

What was the deal with that dance-off? Usher was looking on and probably thinking “I’d destroy all of you in a dance-off!” Ginuwine is probably watching from home going “Man if I had a hit song and was at the VMA dance-off, I’d destroy everyone including Usher!” Good thing MC Hammer came on and proved to everyone that he is the best dancer to ever live.

Ashley Simpson needs to stop screaming. She is horrible. I can’t believe I used to love Pieces of Me. Yes, I just admitted to loving Pieces of Me.

Jessica Alba is gorgeous. Dwyane Wade, you spell your name incorrectly. Who wasn’t expecting Shaq to come on stage?

Holy shit it’s Eric Roberts! Stop lip-synching R. Kelly. Where are the other actors? This is so weird. R. Kelly, you had so much promise. Why’d you have to go pee on that underage girl? This R. Kelly performance just keeps getting funnier and funnier. Did you guys know Eric Roberts was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1985 for Runaway Train. Now he’s doing music videos for The Killers and Mariah Carey and appearing on the VMAs. I saw his sister Julia on the most recent Dave Matthews Band video. I think the Roberts are trying to conquer the music video world. I know I’m going to anger many people by this, specifically the maniacal DMB fans, but I hate DMB and I think he sucks. I think he sucks even more for spawning John Mayer, who thinks he is Dave Matthews.

Hilary Duff lost a lot of weight, and she looks great. Don’t Joel and Hilary make a good couple? He’s only about 10 years older then her. I think Joel is pushing 30. That must be really awkward meeting Hilary’s parents, especially when she was underage. They were obviously getting it on when she was 17.

That group B5 looks like Soul 4 Real wannabes. For those of you who don’t remember Soul 4 Real, they had one song that performed mediocrely in the mid 90s called Candy Rain. I’m torn between Lindsay Lohan and Ashlee Simpson on the Best Pop Video award. Hey look…Kelly Clarkson changed. I really wish we had gotten to see Mariah Carey more tonight. She probably would’ve changed like 10 times.

I want to personally thank Kanye West for allowing Jamie Foxx and outlet for his musical aspirations. I think it’s hilarious that he is in music videos, both of which involved Kanye West.

I really like this fashion award thing. They are actually doing something nice and giving the money to charity. Snoop…you can’t give it to a football league. Gwen always looks classy. What the hell is Eva wearing?!?! Craziness.

Oh man! Here is Mariah. Cleavage…check. Stilettos…check. Showing off her leg…check. Please give me a wardrobe change…………YESSSS (she is now showing off both legs). Everyone talks about Mariah having that 8 octave voice that can shatter a wine glass...I’d like to see this. That is my challenge to you, Mariah…or Mimi…whatever.

I think one of the greatest mysteries of the world is what the members of Gorillaz look like. Maybe if Kurt Kobain made videos using cartoon characters, he might not have been so famous and traumatized, Nirvana would not be so legendary and topping everyone’s 100 greatest whatever list, Dave Grohl may not have started Foo Fighters, and Courtney Love would not have been so cracked out. That’s the butterfly effect folks.

This performance by MCR is awesome. I thought they were decent before, but I think they’re even better now. Bow Wow is all growns up with an Ice-T ponytail.

Just a thought on Green Day. My 12 year old sister doesn’t believe me when I tell her that Green Day became huge when I was her age—that was 10 years ago. She doesn’t really know about Looney Tunes either. She probably doesn’t even know Hanna Barbera. She also didn’t believe that Michael Jackson used to be black.

Do you think Jaime Foxx will mention his grandmother when he presents the Video of the Year? From Booty Call to Oscar Winner…amazing. Destiny’s Child is definitely singing one of their lines. They always do. I’m thoroughly disappointed that they didn’t sing one of their lines. The on-stage girl in the magenta dress is disgustingly tall. They had to throw in a war reference.

Oh hell yes! Kelly Clarkson! I hope the girls from Laguna Beach come on and sing along just like they did in the limo. I still laugh out loud each time I see that scene. Big ups to Kelly Clarkson for being the only mega star from American Idol. I almost willing to forget the From Justin to Kelly ever happened. I wonder what Justin Guarini is up to these days…

Thanks for being so patient on my updates. I promise I’ll have a real article with coherent thoughts as opposed to these jogging journals and random thoughts.


  1. haha...good blog carlo...i give you props...mcr was amazing, but their performance was sooooo short! i'm in love with gerard way<3

  2. Carlo, go here and buy yourself a t-shirt